Smackdown Summarised 27th August
Another week, another Smackdown. This show had more interruptions than when you have sex whilst there's a house full of guests!
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! It’s Josh P here back with another Smackdown review. After the mess that we love to call Raw, I was once again on my knees (for non-sexual reasons) begging for a good show. The question is, did we get that? Let's find out. Let’s go!
Lynch didn’t even flinch!!!
To start off Smackdown, for the first time since the black death started in 1346 we had someone other than Roman Reigns! I know, it’s a miracle! Becky was out after her massive return at Summerslam where she squashed Bianca so hard I couldn’t even tell whether she was orange and blackcurrant! My jokes are juiced today!!! Okay I’ll stop with the juice jokes… maybe! Basically she’s the best, before she was interrupted (which is a common scene in this segment as you’ll discover) by Bianca Belair. She wanted a rematch but she was then interrupted by Zelina Vega, who was Interrupted by Carmella, who was interrupted by Liv Morgan… told you there were a lot of interruptions! Did you hear about the interruption? I don’t think I’ve mentioned an interruption yet! Anyway sorry for the interruption, these 4 were gonna have a fatal four way elimination match to determine the number one contender, which immediately followed an advert, one of which was what looked like an erectile dysfunction ad but it turned out to be a funeral director’s one instead… yeah that happened!
The match was all go from the start, with Belair showcasing her strength and everyone else getting their ass whooped to put it politely. Zelina kicked out of a roll up, only to be met with a KOD leading to her elimination. Carmella followed immediately after leaving Morgan and Belair, which was a match up I didn’t know I needed until now. Bianca hit a spinebuster and tried to follow with a KOD, but Liv countered this and dropped her opponent on the turnbuckle. Belair wasn’t held back long however, as she finally hit the KOD for the victory. I was hoping the match would go a little longer, especially how little we got to see of Liv v Belair, but it was a way to set up a rematch in a way they think fans couldn’t complain about. Let’s see if Belair can last 20 seconds instead of 10 this time!
Backstage, Paul Heyman stated he was still fully behind Roman Reigns even though he had currently been locked out of his dressing room, and he refused to comment on Lesnar’s return at Summerslam.
Cutting back after an ad, the Usos showed up accusing Heyman of knowing Lesnar was going to return, as he sent them backstage in the main event knowing Lesnar would turn up after.
Chad the rad lad went mad and lost by DQ making the finish bad, now I’m sad!
My arch nemesis Chad (what kind of name is that!) was back from his daily trip to his local school with a backpack, carrying more than just school books, and was ready to face Cesaro. Another example of a match I didn’t know I needed until I saw it. However, this suffered the same fate as the beginning contest, as it wasn’t allowed to go on long enough.
Cesaro hit an uppercut right off the bat, and went for the swing straight away, but the rad lad himself reversed into a move of his own. Gable hit a picture-perfect moonsault for a near fall, which was followed closely by a northern lights suplex. The swiss roll… I mean superman then hit a hurricanrana and started to rally some momentum. He went for the swing again, but Otis interfered and caused the DQ. The Alpha Academy then hit some double team moves, before Otis finished Cesaro salad off with a big splash. The finish was disappointing, and I wish we got more! Ironically that’s also the title of XXXavier Woods and Paige’s sex tape!
Baron Corbin now has more money than Vince’s side pieces!
Corbin showed up in a luxurious car, wearing a suit Seth Rollins would be proud of. He stated he was rich as he had won loads of money in Vegas, and he would now like to be referred to as ‘Happy Corbin.’ The temptation to change the Happy feet movie cover to say happy Corbin, with his face over the penguin’s was absolutely unreal, however time got in the way! I promise for next week I will get this done!
Big E came out after being called out by Corbin. Baron wanted to buy the Money in the Bank briefcase, going as high as $100,000, however Big E refused his offer. Corbin then said he was in too good of a mood to have his mood ruined, so he left quicker than my dad.
Backstage Bonanza P2!
Edge was backstage on Smackdown and said the match with Rollins affected his mindset, but now he’s dealt with that he can focus on securing the Universal title. He’s lost… twice! Who in their right mind decided he deserves another shot???
Seth Rollins was then backstage and I had to re-watch this promo around six times as I couldn’t focus because I was laughing so hard at what he was wearing. So let me welcome you back to:
Name: Arctic Arsehole. Rating: 7.5/10. He looked like he was ready for a trip to ride a fucking polar bear!!!! Anyway, after I finally stopped laughing, Seth congratulated Edge and he said he had earned his respect. Rollins said he wanted to be more like him, and he’d learned he now knows what he must do to win the Universal title.
Roman showed up backstage, and he entered his locker room alongside Paul Heyman. It was like a mouse walking with a lion, it was hilarious I can’t lie.
80’s disco superstar… wrestling?
Freddie Mercury reincarnated, Rick Boogs, was in action for the first time alongside his partner Shinsuke Nakamura to face the dirty Dawgs (or as we call them Rudolph.) Boogs started In the ring, and tried to hit his signature air guitar move, before he dropped Ziggler to the mat. Roode was tagged in and he isolated Freddie Mercu… I mean Rick Boogs in their corner, and he proceeded to hit a neckbreaker on the apron, which has been leaked by WWE themselves to apparently be the hardest part of the ring!!!!!!!! Can you believe that??? Top secret information here on Real Rasslin!
Boogs finally fought back enough to create space for the hot tag to his partner Nakamura, who hit a big kick. Shin went for the finish, but Roode broke it up, allowing Ziggler to take out the champ. Boogs tagged back in and dominated the match, going for a big suplex after a string of offence. Roode took him out before he could deliver this however, but Nakamura took Roode out on the outside, as Boogs hit the famouser to pick up the win. His theme tune, we are the champions blasted out as they left together.
There were a lot of backstage segments this week! Naomi was back on Smackdown and Sonya Deville hadn’t even realized she’d been drafted… and that’s because she hasn’t!!! WWE logic peeps! Shit I can’t say that anymore, rival promotion and stuff. Nim nam nimoni wanted a match, but Deville refused and told her to check back next week.
SAMI ZAYN WON A MATCH!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies and gents, the world is officially ending. Yes, you heard me right! No, I am not joking! He finally won a match!!!
Maybe his luck has turned alongside Corbin’s! He was facing Dominik in what resulted to be a fairly quick but fun match. Sami had the upper hand early, but he was cancelled out by a huge springboard move. Zayn avoided a 619 attempt, and Dom went crashing to the outside, leading to Rey checking on his son, because as his namesake Dom Toretto says, family is everything! Dom managed to dodge the blue thunder bomb before hitting a kick. Dom hit the 619, but Sami dodged the splash that followed. This was the beginning of the end as he sent Mysterio into the corner and hit the Helluva kick for the win.
So many shots fired you would think we were in a bullet club!
Roman was out next with the Usos and Heyman, and they were repping new bloodline shirts that I haven’t stopped thinking about since they came out. Heyman asked the fans to acknowledge the Tribal Chief before they bragged about Reigns’ victory against Cena. Finn Balor interrupted, because that seemed to be the theme of the night, and demanded a title match next week. Roman and his crew were silent, before Balor had enough and decided to attack them. The street profits came to even the numbers, and they destroyed the Usos in the ring, leading to Balor hitting a Coup de Grace on Jimmy. Roman left the ring and headed backstage, leaving his cousins to fend for themselves as Smackdown went off air, with the confirmation of the Universal title match next week!
And that brings Smackdown to a close. There were a hefty amount of backstage segments and promos in this episode, which could have been drastically reduced to allow some of the matches to go longer, such as the Gable v Cesaro match that had fans drooling. However, with that being said, the show in general was decent and easy to digest. We have the Universal title match to look forward to next week, which is sure to be incredible even if we know the outcome beforehand. But that’s all from me, thanks for reading and I’ll catch you on the next review!