Smackdown Summary 1st October
Another week, another Smackdown! It's the first week of the draft, so let's see who goes where!
Hello ladies and gentlemen boys and girls of all ages! It’s JP here back with another Smackdown review. It’s the first week of the draft, and as always it’s just about as ridiculous as before! So what are we waiting for? We have a lot to get into so let’s waste no time and let’s go!
Draft: Round numero uno
To kick off SD this week, ScrapDaddyAP and DaddyDeville, also known as Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville, kicked off the draft. Roman and Charlotte headed over to the blue brand, whereas Big E and Bianca Belair went the opposite way to the red brand.
Following this, the tribal chief made his way to the ring with his special council Paul Heyman to promote his match with Brock Lesnar at Crown Jewel, taking place in the nation full of oil money… and I’m not talking about Vince’s office where he has crisp dollar bills scattered around the room covered in his stray lube. He also said he’d beat Lesnar, because if he didn’t say that it wouldn’t be a promo.
Because it was the start of a WWE weekly program and he heard his name, Lesnar made his way down to the ring. The human onion and cover star for colgate squared off before a brawl broke out. Lesnar took Reigns to suplex city, as well as the Usos who failed to make the save. Roman retreated leaving his cousins in the ring, as they took F5’s from Brock.
Pharrell Williams finally got through to Baron Corbin!
Corbin must’ve been listening to the charts, because he’s finally happy. He also clapped along because he felt like a room without a roof. You get where I’m going with this. He introduced his new friend ‘Madcap Moss,’ formerly known as Riddick Moss.
Bazza Corbs was facing KO next, and Corbin’s new best mate tripped Owens early on, after he took control of the early going. This allowed Baron to capitalize and hit the deep six for a near fall, before Owens got a near fall of his own. Corbin hit the end of days on the outside which signaled the end of days for KO, before Corbin hit the end of days for the win to confirm the end of days. Basically, end of days.
Draft: Round numero dos
The draft continued next, with Drew McIntyre and the New Day going to Smackdown, splitting the stable again because WWE couldn’t resist, meanwhile RK-Bro and Edge are headed to Raw.
Drew was backstage next, and I can only assume that he has teleportation skills as he got there in two minutes after the announcement. He said he was going for the bloodline and the universal title, because they can’t help themselves putting Drew in a main title feud every 23 seconds. I can only assume they are a massive fan of his thighs!
Rollins is pushing him to the Edge!
Edge was out next and reminded us that he was on the very first SD, before he addressed Seth Rollins and stated he was still recovering and asked Seth to come out. The Messiah didn’t oblige and appeared on the titantron instead and taunted Edge for not already accepting defeat. He called the Hall of Famer a liar and revealed he was at Edge’s house. But, we mentioned the suit god, so we must do it! Welcome back to:
Name- HAHAHAHAHAHA HIS NAME IS TRADEMARKED SO HE'LL HAVE TO BE TYLER BLACK WHEN SETH LEAVES US, FUCK YOU AEW. A short story By Vince McMahon. Rating- 8/10. Bit Crazy with the design but that's what makes his suits so unique! Love it, but when don't I?
The Rated R superstar made a run for it as Seth was going through his fridge, which may not have been a smart idea considering the Rated R part of Edge’s nickname. Seth made himself comfortable at the fireplace as Edge warned his wife not to go home.
You only Liv once… SO WHY SO MANY POINTLESS REMATCHES?????
What was this? I’ll tell you straight, pure shite. Carmella debuted a new glitter mask that a five-year-old would be disappointed in. The match finished in Carmella getting counted out because she was too scared to get hit. No comment.
Draft: Round numero tres
Newcomers Hit Row formerly of NXT and Happy Corbin with his new bestie Madcap Moss were to be on Smackdown, whereas Super Brutality, Nikki A.S.H and Rhea Ripley, stayed on Raw alongside Keith ‘Bearcat’ Lee.
Nobody profited from this match… but it was fun so I don’t give a toss
Triple threat tag team action now and it was just a good time. Rudolph were facing the Street Profits who were also against newcomers to the blue brand the New Day, shame Paige isn't GM anymore ay XXXavier?
Ford managed to hit Gable with some big kicks and hit a body drop before taking down the Dirty Dawgs and Otis from the apron. Gable sneaked in a tag to Otis and he took Montez outside and sent him into the steel steps and the barricades.
After a break, Gable countered a dive from Ford with a bridge pin, but Montez kicked out. Roode and Dawkins were in next, and the latter was cleaning house before hitting a spinning neckbreaker.
Otis was sent outside and Ford hits a suicide dive on him, but this allowed the New Day to hit the midnight hour on the only remaining superstar in the ring Bobby Roode. No complaints about this, just had a good time like a teenage lad home alone accompanied by a full bottle of lube and toilet roll. The lube’s prominent tonight ay boys?
Draft: Round numero quattro
Round four next, where Jeff Hardy and Naomi headed to Smackdown, which could be leading to an extra member of the bloodline, but this time female potentially? The Mysterios and Austin Theory of all people headed to Raw. Ah yes, I’ll choose a guy who hasn’t been on TV in God knows how many months over a massive name, we’re so big brain here at USA Network!
Jeff Hardy was backstage before his interview was interrupted by Broccolli Lesnarini who stated he was a free agent, and he thanked his ‘good friend’ Paul Heyman for making this happen.
In Roman’s locker room, he questioned Heyman as to whether they were actually good friends before questioning why the Usos weren’t drafted tonight. Roman asked Heyman to go to Raw to ensure the Usos got drafted to the blue brand. The tribal chief stated his cousins should accompany Heyman to Raw. The head of the table instructed the Usos to take Heyman out if things don’t go according to plan.
Beware of Belair
The returning Sasha Banks was facing Bianca Belair now of Raw, with Becky Lynch on commentary. Belair started strong with a few bench presses, before dropping Banks on her front. Bianca tossed Sasha to the outside and she took a minute to taunt Becky which cost her control.
After a break, Banks was on top, hitting a meteora for a near fall. Bianca was back on top again, including driving her opponent into the barricade after Banks missed a sunset powerbomb off the apron.
Becky and Belair got in a scuffle at ringside, and Becky grabbed Bianca’s hair to restrict her opponent’s movement. Banks took advantage of this and went for a pin before Charlotte Flair, because we all need Charlotte Flair, and caused the DQ. Great, new brand, same Charlotte. Let’s wrap this up before I fume why don’t we?
And that was it for this week’s Smackdown. It wasn’t a bad show, some fun matches but the sole focus was on the draft. Speaking of which, that wraps up the first round of the draft, so to sum up:
Drafted to Raw:
- WWE Champion - Big E
- Bianca Belair
- Raw Tag Team Champions - RK-Bro (Randy Orton and Matt Riddle)
- Women’s Tag Team Champions - Super Brutality (Nikki A.S.H and Rhea Ripley)
- Keith ‘Bearcat’ Lee
- Austin Theory
- The Mysterio’s (Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio)
Drafted to Smackdown:
- Universal Champion - Roman Reigns
- Raw Women’s Champion - Charlotte Flair
- Drew McIntyre
- The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods)
- Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss
- Hit Row ( Isaiah "Swerve" Scott, Ashante Adonis, Top Dolla, B-Fab)
- Jeff Hardy
Join me on the Raw review to find out who else is drafted and where they’re headed! Anyway that’s all from me, thanks for reading and I’ll catch you on the next review!