Ring of Honor: Bytesize 5th October 2021
Joshhausen is back from his Holiday with another week of Ring of Honor action!
Good timezone! Joshhausen here, back for another week of ROH!
Firstly, last week there was no review as for the first time in years, I was on holiday! But fear not, I will be posting the results of last weeks matches:
Brian "Mecca" Johnson beats PJ Black in a Pure rules match.
Brody King beats Jay Lethal, Kenny King and Shane Taylor in a fatal 4 way.
It looks from the episode that Brody King may be elevated to a world title opportunity, soon.
Onto this weeks show!
After the title video we are greeted by the always lovely.. wait thats not Quinn McKay.. it's....Vlnce Unltd? With an instant promo from Chris Dickinson, stating that they challenge 4 other wrestlers to "get violent with them" Brody reinforces this by saying "There is honor in violence, and this is Vlnce Unltd" and then... and then people. HE'S FINALLY HERE! HE IS ON ROH TV FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I STARTED REVIEWING ROH! THE MAN I'M DOING THIS FOR, DANHAUSEN IS HERE!
He delivers the expertly crafted line of "Ah yes, it will be very violent.." he gets met with dead eyed stares and then leaves saying "Oops! Never mind!" truly he is a visionary of our modern times and should be respected as such.
They all argue about whose friend he is, then leave.
We get shown the matches of tonight which are:
- Rust & Zayne Vs The Briscoes
- Rok-C will be in attendance
- Vlnce Unltd Vs ???
Rust & Zayne Vs The Briscoes
Taylor Rust enters first, no real hype to his entrance. Alex Zayne follows quickly with a bit more of a hyped up entrance.
A video from Zayne says he becomes 4 and 0 tonight at ROH with his boy Rust against The Briscoes tonight. He says "Bandido is about to get a taste of the sauce" .... a bit of an odd name for himself.
The Briscoes enter next, looking like characters from GTA V (You know which ones.) It goes to a video of them saying that their opponents tonight are just a bump in the road. Have to say though, these two look kinda insane. Would not want to meet them on a dark highway. I like my kidneys.
They shake hands, Mark and Rust start in the ring, the bell goes and Briscoe instantly starts going for Rust's leg, but he deftly avoids any attempts.
The two trade lock ups and holds, until Rust floors Mark and gets him into a wristlock, which quickly gets reversed into a headlock on the mat. Reverses happen over and over until Rust locks in a painful abdominal stretch and moves it into a hammerlock.
Mark tags Jay in and they get to work with stomps to Rust in the corner. He tags Mark back in and they continue working on Rust, hitting a suplex for only a 1 count!
We go to a car shield ad....and instead of rage, I feel an overwhelming, cooling sense of calm as we no longer have Ric Flair, but instead we have "Ya Boy" Ice-T! I feel the internal screaming coming
down and the waves of chill taking over.. this is gonna be good guys. Anyway, Chill shield count #1
Back in the ring, the Briscoes seem to be in control until Zayne gets tagged in. Zayne gets taken down by Jay but quickly takes back control as the pair share holds until Zayne hits a hurricanrana, charges to the corner but is thrown over the ropes by Jay, he rallies quickly and hits a headscissor driver.
The Briscoes take over again and manage to spill the action to outside the ring, where Zayne and Rust take a beating as Zayne gets suplexed onto the apron. (Which as we all know, is the 2nd hardest part of the ring.)
They continue their beatdown by dropping Zayne and Rust back down to the mat with some big boots, then throwing Zayne back into the ring. Jay beats Zayne down with some chops and strikes, tagging in Mark who continues to do the same before he drops him to the floor, delivering some kicks.
Zayne starts to fight back but Mark tags in Jay, who continues the assault. The Briscoes look to finish things, holding Zayne in a chinlock, he tags in Mark and they try to begin a tag team assault but Zayne manages to escape the duo and tag in Rust.
Rust begins with some takedowns, a scissor kick to the pair and then locks Mark up but it gets broken by an interfering Jay.
Ahh just what we needed, another Ice-T carshield ad. I'm feeling refreshed now, are you guys? Chill shield ad #2.
Back in the ring, Rust seems to be firmly in control with one Briscoe on the ground, the other firmly in a hold. However, this quickly changes as Mark rolls out of a lock, throwing Rust out of the ring.
Zayne steps into the ring to attack Mark as Rust drags Jay out of the ring by his foot. Zayne sends Mark out of the ring and hits a springboard moonsault, taking down The Briscoes.
Mark and Rust are left in the ring, with Rust and Zayne hitting a springboard hurricanrana, dragging Mark off the top rope, but only hitting a 2 count. Jay comes back in with a fury, taking Zayne and Rust out, they try to rally but its no good as Jay hits the Jay Driller, Mark hits a froggy bow, hitting the 3 count.
Winner: Mark & Jay, The Briscoes.
This match was good, There was no doubt that The Briscoes were the dominant team in this match. This is not to say that Zayne and Rust didn't put up a good fight, they had some very good spots in this match and near the end it looked as if the tide might turn, but it was not enough to take down an established tag team like The Briscoes.. not this time, at least.
We're now taken to a video of PCO and Sledge, when Danhausen enters and mentions he is looking for 3 other wrestlers for this very violent, very evil challenge. He recruits the pair standing before him before going over to Batman (AKA Demonic Flamita) and recruiting him for the match...at least he hopes... Batman just laughs at Danhausen. Lets hope he turns up!
Chill shield ad #3! Ice-T and Mr. Biggs are back, it's the same advert, but I'm still feeling chilled.
We now have our segment with new ROH World Women's Champion, Rok-C.
They ask what the championship meant to Rok-C, she says that it means everything to her. Her family and friends were watching, her Mum and Dad were there, she talks about her journey, how she's cried and bled to get where she is. She finished saying that the C in Rok-C used to mean confidence, now it means Champion.
The Allure's music hits and they come down saying that this is their ring, that she shouldn't act as if she's the first champion, and that the C means something else but they can't say it on TV. (I think we all know what word she means. That's right. Clobster. She's a Rok-Clobster.)
Then, as if we thought it would end here, Miranda Alize's music hits, then Trish Adora comes down... and Willow comes down to the ring, followed by Allysin Kay, then finally, Maria. Who actually talks!
She says she appreciates their enthusiasm, but with this smorgasboard of women in the ring, they can't have any matches. She announces two 3-way matches, the winners of which will face before Final Battle, with the winner facing Rok-C at Final Battle.
All women leave the ring, leaving Rok-C alone, who is starting to look scared.
Chill shield ad #4! Ice-T and Mr.Biggs here with a repeat of the previous ad. Still feeling chilled, but needs a different flavour.
Back from the ads, Ian Riccaboni tells us that during the break, Miranda Alize attacked Rok-C on the way back to the ring, with Quinn coming out to protect her.
Main Event: Vlnce Unltd (Chris Dickinson, Tony Deppen, Brody King, Homicide) Vs Danhausen, Sledge, Batman (AKA Demonic Flamita) and PCO.
Both teams come to the ring with fairly standard entrances, nothing special. Other than Danhausen of course who comes to the ring looking like a very nice, very evil God with his jar of disgusting teeth. But remember: They are a legal distraction. He might just be giving them their teeth back! (I'm not biasedhausen at all.)
Danhausen and Homicide start in the ring with some lock ups, he goes for a pin but sadly fails at 2. Homicide has Danhausen in a headlock but Danhausen breaks out after Homicide bites Danhausen's thumb.
Danhausen shows off his injured thumb, Homicide tries to lock in a butterfly for a suplex but Danhausen hits a cutter instead to a 1 count, quickly transitioning into an STF but Homicide gets the rope.
We fade to black for an ad we don't get, and when we come back we have Batman in the ring with Deppen.
Batman drops Deppen to the mat with a tackle, misses an elbow drop, they share some leapfrogs, stupidly quick failed pins ending with Flamita getting dropped. Batman tries to conitnue his assault but Deppen is more of a match than he expected as he takes control ending with a dropkick.
Deppen tags in the new UWN World Champion, Chris Dickinson, and they hit a tag team assault on Batman which looks like a whip to an uppercut. but only for a two count. Batman tags out to Sledge or "Steve" as Danhausen calls him. Steve quickly takes control as he hits a suplex on Dickinson but only for a 2. Steve charges at Dickinson but he meets a boot to a dropkick off the turnbuckle.
Dickinson tags in Brody who delivers some chops to Steve, followed by some stomps and a tag to Deppen who continues the assault with some knee strikes from the other side of the ring. Deppen tags in Dickinson who beats Steve down with some powerful leg strikes to a DDT but only for a 2 count. He uses the ropes to help him stomp on Steve's face.
Homicide gets tagged in, fails 2 pins. He pushes Steve into the corner and hits a couple of shoulder barges but then Steve breaks out and begins to take control until he knocks Homicide to the ground, who tries a maneuver but gets knocked back to the corner where both sides tag.
Brody and PCO are in the ring after a fade to black where they trade strikes. Brody launches himself off the ropes but PCO hits a pop-up powerbomb for a 2 count, Brody responds with a piledriver.
PCO starts to go a bit nuts and someone is screaming "Nobody touch him!" He seems to be having some sort of mental attack, climbs out of the ring and starts calling for Brody to tag him in... what the f**k?
Brody uses this as a chance to help his own team by tagging him in? PCO attacks Danhausen with a chokeslam and takes Steve and Batman down quickly. He charges at Batman in the corner knocking him down. PCO demands Brody chop him to "ignite him" then Brody and PCO work together to pick apart PCO's own team...? Vlnce Unltd start cheering on PCO.
PCO hits a moonsault onto Steve. He tries to pin him but the ref won't count as it's his own team. PCO snaps out of it and Brody begins to attack Danhausen who tries to suplex Brody but he's too heavy. Instead, Danhausen hits a tornado DDT on Brody, a release northern lights on Deppen and a German suplex on Dickinson.
Danhausen announces he's "so powerful!" and Dickinson hits a cheapshot on Danhausen as it's the only way he could hurt him. Danhausen tags in Batman who hits a shimoken destroyer.
Deppen gets tagged in, as does PCO. PCO hits a running sit-out powerbomb. Homicide gets tagged in, tries to hit a hip toss but PCO cleaves his chest off, knocking him to the ground. PCO climbs to the top turnbuckle but Homicide trips him right onto his grapes!
Homicide and Steve are in the ring, Homicide misses the tornado DDT and Steve hits a spinning powerslam of some sort. Brody gets tagged in, and hits a gonzo bomb for the 3 count.
Winners: Vlnce Unltd
This was a great and entertaining match. There was no doubt that Vlnce Unltd were the dominant team here. As much as I adore and love my guy Danhausen, this was an unfortunate upset for his team. Things may have gone differently if PCO hadn't gone nuckin' futs in this match, but unfortunately this wasn't the case. Though it may set up for future feuds.
We then get shown next week's matches:
- The OGK Vs Bandido & Rey Horus
- S.O.S Vs Dalton Castle & Dak Draper.
And there we have it, another episode of ROH been and gone. This was probably my favourite so far as I finally got to see Danhausen in action! However, I always enjoy seeing Vlnce Unltd, Brody King especially.
Did you enjoy this weeks instalment? Let me know any thoughts, opinions or feedback in the comments!
Until next time, Joshhausen out! #GETDANHAUSENHISBLIMP