NXTUK Bytesize: 29th July 2021

Thursday nights mean NXTUK, and Paul is here with all the action from last nights show.

NXTUK Bytesize: 29th July 2021

What’s up guys and girls! It’s the “King of Real Rasslin” Paul, back again with this week’s NXTUK Bytesize review!

This week we get Aoife Valkyrie taking on Jinny, and the main event is a tag team bout between Symbiosis, and those boys from the log cabin, Moustache Mountain.

Should be an interesting one. Let’s get into it!

Archer was dealt an Ace…. The Irish Ace…

First up is Jordan Devlin in action against Tristan Archer, who put on a very good performance last time out against Joseph Conners.

The match began with Devlin applying a headlock to Archer, and he used this to take him down to the mat. From there Devlin maintained control with a wristlock until Archer reversed it, however Devlin reasserted himself with a dropkick.

Following this, Devlin controlled much of the match. Archer managed a brief flurry before the two traded blows, and even hit a nice succession of a clothesline, scoop slam and a codebreaker in the ropes for a two count. But it was all for nought as Devlin would counter a GTS attempt and hit the Devlin Inside for the win.

After the match ended, Devlin took a mic and talked about how putting A-Kid in the ring with him meant he was endangering his career. A-Kid responded by coming out to the ring with crutches, hobbling into the ring. Jordan kicked away the crutches, saying he won’t be able to rely on those to stand next week, but he was quickly cut off as A-Kid put his foot down properly, showing he was fully healed.

Devlin looked concerned at this and had every right to be, as A-Kid then beat him around the ring. Devlin left the ring as A-Kid took a mic and said that Devlin had tried to end his career, but he failed, and next week, he will fail again.

We then get a hype video of Aoife Valkyrie v Jinny, recapping aspects of their promos from a couple of weeks ago. And as if that wasn’t enough, we then get a hype video for WALTER v Ilja Dragunov, providing of course that WALTER doesn’t go missing again…

Satomura sows (in)Sanity

Come on, that was good right?

The whole female roster is sat in the women’s locker room as Meiko Satomura walks in, title in hand. She says that now that she is the Champion, she welcomes all challengers. This starts a huge argument backstage between all the women as Meiko stands there looking pleased with herself for causing such madness, before deciding to leave them to it and walking off.

Satomura seems to have taken a leaf out of the Stone Cold Steve Austin book here.

Arrive. Raise Hell. Leave.

Why on Earth is Joseph Conners getting involved? No, I don’t get it Aoife…

Back to in ring action now, as Aoife Valkyrie takes on … ugh… Jinny.

Aoife starts strong, dominating Jinny with a wristlock and kicking her all around the ring. She lands two consecutive pin attempts after a sunset flip and a roll up, but to no avail. At this point, Joseph Conners runs distraction and gives Jinny an opening.

Jinny targets Aoife’s arm, and controls the next portion of the match in doing so. Aoife does eventually fight out by sweeping the legs, but Joseph Conners interferes again, with Aoife then put in some kind of stretch hold by Jinny.

Back on their feet, Jinny hits Aoife with a hard slap TO THE FACE!!! But this just makes Aoife mad, and she starts delivering slaps and kicks of her own. Aoife then lands a big spinning heel kick for a two count.

Aoife hits Jinny with an Enzuigiri, and again Conners tries to interfere, but this time Aoife sees it coming and avoids it, hitting another enzuigiri on Jinny. Once again, Conners attempts to interfere, earning a forearm shot from Aoife for his troubles, but this gives Jinny the opportunity to hit a forearm to the back of Aoife’s head before hitting here with a rolling Liger kick for the win.

Given my total dislike for Jinny, I am not thrilled at this result. Think “Miz girl” levels of dislike…

Following this match, we get a vignette of Joe Coffey talking up the rubber match with Rampage Brown.

He says they both have one victory, but nothing will make him happier than knocking him out. He trains hard for these exact matches, because he’s the Iron King (Is he the three eyed raven too?) and he wants to find out who truly is the best. They’re from a harder generation, but at the end of the day he’ll be taking care of business, because this is his Kingdom.

Back with A-Kid, who is leaving the building, a camera crew catches up to hi and asks if he is feeling confident ahead of next week’s match? He says he is bricking it, as he didn’t know what an Iron man match was, he just heard it and thought it sounded really cool and runs off in floods of tears screaming for his mum….

Obviously, I am kidding. He says he is very confident and in the best shape of his life, and just as he made history winning the inaugural Heritage Cup, he will make history again next week when he wins the first ever Iron man match on NXTUK.

On the one hand, I am looking forward to this match, but on the other, it’s going to be an absolute bastard to takes notes for and review…. #prayforme…

Aleah James started out 3D, but after a 4D, she became 2D…

Aleah James taking on the futuristic cyber squad warrior Stevie Turner now, and this was basically a glorified squash match.

Despite an initial feeling out process, and a flurry of offence near the end resulting in a near fall, this match was all Stevie Turner, and after dominating her opponent for much of the match, she finished her off with the 4D, a rope assisted flatliner, for the win. During the match we were told Blair Davenport will be I action next week…Joy…

The Bomber is seeing Starz!

Back in the UKPC, a camera crew asks Jack “twinkle twinkle little” Starz, and Big Dave Mastiff who are in a training ring, how their preparation for their upcoming tag team match is going. Jack says it’s going great, they’re just warming up, and he cheekily says he is just showing Dave what its like to be fast. Dave says “Oh really? Show us how fast you are then!” Starz then runs the ropes, doing the usual spot you would expect from this, and it ends with Mastiff taking him down faster than Nikki A.S.H ended Charlotte’s title reign.

Mastiff says Jack may be fast, but he is immovable, and that what’s going to make them unstoppable as a team.

I like this team. I’m a big fan of both these guys so anything that gets them closer to winning some gold I am all for.

Tyler and Trent Take out the Trash

Main event time, as Moustache Mountain descend from their log cabin to take on Eddie Dennis’ Symbiosis tandem of T-Bone and Primate.

Tyler of course has his championship trophy with him, so let’s check that counter…

The match doesn’t even start before Symbiosis attack, as they charge their opponents as they make their ring entrance. Tyler and Trent get tot heir feet and Tyler whips out his nun chuks (not a euphemism) and the referee restores order.

The match begins and T-Bone takes early control. Trent manages to land a crossbody before tagging Tyler in, and the two hit a double team move on T-Bone. Tyler tags Trent back in, and this is where it begins to look bad for the Big Strong Bois.

For the next few minutes Primate and T-Bone dominate Trent, battering him around the ring and preventing him from getting to his corner. Trent lands an enzuigiri but as he reaches for Tyler, Eddie Dennis pulls him off the ringside, preventing the tag.

Trent again manages to fend off his opponents, and hits a DDT, which gives him enough time to reach Tyler for the hot tag. Cue the inevitable “Tyler clears house” routine, as he hits a belly-to-belly suplex, then Bop & Bang on Primate. he follows this up with the airplane spin, but T-Bone stops this by catching Primate, so Tyler dropkicks them both.

With Primate rocked, Tyler hits the Tyler Driver 97, but the pin is broken up by T-Bone. Now Symbiosis take control with a double team move, followed by a German suplex and a powerslam from T-Bone. Primate hits a diving headbutt for a two count, while Eddie Dennis hits the Severn Bridge on Tyler to the edge of the barricade on the arena floor. That looked nasty!

A pop up powerbomb from Primate is followed up by a top rope splash from T-Bone, but Tyler kicks out at two! He then recovers and hits his rope assisted clothesline on both opponents, and tags Trent Seven in.

Trent hit a seven-star lariat on T-Bone, gaining a two count, before he and Tyler take him to the corner and hit their double team finish on him for the win. Great match!

As Symbiosis leave the ringside area, Pretty Deadly come down and taunt Moustache Mountain, so it looks like the Big Strong Bois might be in line for a title shot.

And that brings to an end this weeks NXTUK. Overall a decent episode, I wouldn’t say there was anything overly remarkable, but the matches were solid, and some intrigue was built for upcoming matches, which I suppose is the point of a weekly TV show.

Thanks for joining me once again as we go through all of the action, and I will see you all on Wednesday for the next instalment of the NWA Champions Series!