NWA Powerrr Bytesize: 25th May 2021
Its the "Season Finale" of NWA Powerrr as we lead up to NWA When Our Shadows Fall!
What’s up guys and girls! It’s “The Belt Guy” Paul, back again with another bytesized NWA Powerrr Review!
This week’s episode is being called the “Season Finale” as it is the final Powerrr before the PPV, When Our Shadows Fall. Slightly concerning as literally zero matches have been announced for it yet, but I’m hoping tonight sees three made. We know that Jax Dane and Crimson are due a tag team title shot against Aron Stevens and Kratos after winning a number one contender’s match last week, and we also have Kamille v Thunder Rosa for the number one contendership to the World Womens Championship too. Add to that the main event which is a 14-man Battle Royal to determine the number one contender to the World’s Heavyweight Title, and it should be a decent show!
So, without any more rambling from me, let’s dive in!
White smoke at the commentary desk means a new commentator has been selected!
Joe Galli and Velvet Sky inform us that once again, Tim Storm is “on assignment” (could be anywhere!) they then do a little hype for the upcoming PPV before announcing that there will be a third person joining them on commentary tonight, the NWA World Television Champion, Da Pope!
Out comes Pope, carrying a new title belt (it's essentially the same one as before but with a white strap now!) Galli and Sky big him up for a moment, Pope mentions something about being World Class before we move on to Kyle Davis at the interview booth...
Stevens and Kratos DO NOT like each other...
It may surprise you to know, but these two haven’t been getting on lately.
I know! They hide it so well!
Kyle Davis asks Stevens if the trust is there between them. Stevens says yes, it is, it's right here on their shoulders. Stevens reminds everyone that Kratos is a mercenary, whereas he likes to do things the right way. Davis asks Kratos a question but he doesn’t speak, he just stares a hole through Stevens. Davis then says maybe its best if they head to the ring...
An opportunity wasted!
Why?! Why in the blue hell would you put a Tag Team Title match, on free TV, two weeks before a Pay-Per-View?!
I literally do not understand what is going on with this promotion sometimes! I want to love it so badly, but damn it they are making it so hard...
So, the story here, is that once again, Stevens and Kratos are not on each other's Christmas card list. The match begins with Kratos tagging himself in almost immediately and telling Stevens to “get the f*ck outta here!” We’re then treated to a slugfest between Jax Dane and Kratos. Not content with that, they then trade clotheslines!
From here on out, War Kings actually dominated. Dane and Crimson making good use of tags to keep each other fresh and wear down Kratos. Kratos did eventually manage to tag Stevens in, but it did nothing to change the momentum until War Kings missed a double team move, allowing Stevens to tag in Kratos who hit a huge suplex on Crimson.
Following this, and with the referee distracted, a masked man came out and decked Crimson with a shot TO THE FACE!!! Allowing Kratos to pick up the win for his team. It looked like it may have been Chris Adonis at first but on the replay I’m not so sure.
Still angry that this match has essentially been given away before a PPV, but there is still plenty to look forward to tonight so it should be fine... Right?
He’s got Aldis time to talk...
Because it’s NWA, out comes Nick Aldis to speak with Kyle Davis. Aldis is in his ring gear so it looks like he’s going to be in action tonight. Davis asks if he has any regrets over making Latimer and Adonis give up their tag team title shot.
Aldis goes off on a tangent at Davis, saying everyone is trying to make a name for themselves at his expense. He says that Latimer and Adonis were happy to do what is right for Strictly Business, he never forced them, merely suggested (Yes, in the same way I “suggest” my daughter eats her dinner or there’s no dessert! I know, I’m a monster...).
Aldis says he is the Puppet Master, and that he makes people dance. He proves this by telling Kyle Davis to dance, which he dutifully does. Aldis says he is a star maker too, as tonight he is giving an opportunity to Matthew Mims.
Davis then asks if he is worried about the battle royal later? Aldis says “You don’t become World Champion for over 900 days by worrying”, he’s living in the moment as he doesn’t know who is in the match. Davis says he does and reads off some names such as Matt Cross, Jordan Clearwater, and of course, Trevor Murdoch. Aldis doesn’t like this and warns Davis before heading to the ring.
Pretty standard stuff here really.
Mims made into Mims-meat
I know it’s a little out of place buuuuut........
Honestly, that’s all this was ever going to be. Whilst Mims did get a few offensive moves in, such as a Body slam, this was only ever going to go one way.
After hitting a Michinoku Driver, Tombstone Piledriver, and a top rope Elbow Drop, Aldis locked in the Kings Lynn Cloverleaf on Mims, forcing him to tap.
This match was five minutes, tops. But it did showcase Aldis as a threat going into the PPV I guess.
We’re then treated to a “School of Morton” advertisement. Still prefer it to my “dear old friend”, Austin Idol...
Thunder Rosa v Kamille
After a video recap, the match begins. Rosa dominates throughout. Seriously, she twists Kamille so much at one point I thought she was a pretzel!
Rosa worked over Kamille’s legs, while Kamille would use her offensive opportunities to show off her strength.
The two went back and forth for some time, trading holds and pins, until Taryn Terrell chose to get involved. Melina was having none of it though and chased her off. At least, I think that’s what happened, as “Due to a wardrobe malfunction” on Terrell’s part, the screen was heavily blurred...
I literally have nothing more to add to that.
Following this, Rosa threw Kamille into just about everything surrounding the ring, hitting her with several quick, sharp moves. Kamille would reassert herself and land a couple of steamrollers, and a spear, but Rosa’s foot was under the ropes for the resulting pin.
After this, Kamille was once again caught in Rosa’s sticky web of submission (wow that sounds bad, doesn’t it?!) and was seconds away from tapping out until the bell rang for a time limit draw.
What. The. F*ck?!?!?!
So, you have a PPV in two weeks. You have the chance to build intrigue ahead of the day by announcing some clear-cut matches, AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET?!
A damn draw?! How am I supposed to beat King Kyle for the Real Rasslin Crown if there are no matches to predict on!
Honestly, I think Mr Corgan needs some guidance on how to create and maintain a steady product! I think I can help...
Honestly, that has really angered me. It makes zero sense to do this! You want people to buy your PPV, you need to promote matches beforehand!
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh and as if the viewing experience couldn’t get any better, here comes Austin Idol once again!
Luckily, it’s New Meme Day here, so enjoy the latest masterpiece!
I mean Every. Single. Word of it!
BK Battle Royale (BK stands for Bloody Krap! AND YES, I KNOW I HAVE SPELT IT WRONG BUT I’M ANGRY AND I DON’T CARE!)
So, we’ve all been to local independent shows, right?
You know how when you go to these shows they often hold a battle royal at the end of the night to send fans home happy?
Well, this is what they did here. Exactly like every single one of those matches you have ever seen at your local promotion. Well, with the exception that this was an even bigger pile of horsesh*t...
First off, as if once isn’t bad enough, Austin Idol joins Joe Galli and Nick Aldis on commentary. We are informed this battle royal is under NWA Rules. Meaning it doesn’t matter how they leave the ring, if one foot touches the floor, they're out. (I’m not even going to question it. This is even more confusing than whether the Dream is guilty or not...)
From there, the match begins, and the order of elimination is as follows;
- Sal Rinauro
- Odinson & Parrow
- Jeremiah Plunkett
- Marshe Rockett
- Fred Rosser
- Jordan Clearwater
- Jax Dane
- Slice Boogie
This leaves the final four of Adonis, Latimer, Tyrus, and Murdoch (Ooooohhh I wOndEr wHo WilL wiN tHIs oNe?!) UPDATE: Also, just realised there were 15 men in this Battle Royal! It appears someone in booking can't count...
In a shocking (read, highly predictable) twist, Pope (incredibly slowly. Almost sloth like) pulled Tyrus out of the ring to eliminate him, leaving Murdoch in a two on one situation with Adonis, who had relinquished his NWA National Heavyweight Title to be in the match, and Thom Latimer.
What happened next was textbook Pro Wrestling booking. Murdoch throws Latimer over the ropes, who lands on the apron. Adonis goes for a clothesline on Murdoch but he ducks, meaning Adonis accidentally eliminates Latimer. From there, Murdoch hoists Adonis up and over the ropes for the win! It’s Aldis v Murdoch at NWA When Our Shadows Fall!
An irate Nick Aldis then attempted to attack Murdoch, but he was wise to his crafty tricks and fought him off with a top rope bulldog. Murdoch then went to the interview booth and said he had worked all his life for this. He wishes Harley Race, his trainer that Nick Aldis had alluded to earlier in the show, had been there to see this. But he says Aldis better enjoy his last few days as Champion, because on June 6th, he’s taking it.
Thus ended another episode of NWA Powerrr.
Overall, this episode left a really bad taste in my mouth! Only one match announced for the PPV just two weeks before it? Absolute craziness! Let’s hope Corgan reads the book I got him!
Next week will likely be PowerrrSurge so hopefully there will be some matches made there, but I won’t hold my breath! Seriously, where's Josh P and his acid bath when you need him??
Next week will be a summary of PowerrrSurge and then June 6th is the big one!
And that ends another Bytesized review. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time!
I'm off to lie down in a dark room and comtemplate my life choices....