MLW War Chamber: Bytesize November 17th 2021
Joshhausen gives us the low down on MLW War Chamber coming to us live from Philadelphia on National Cowboy Shit Day!
Good timezone! Joshhausen here! Time for another weekly instalment of MLW! This time we have WAR CHAMBER!
Edit: We thought War Chamber was going to be a Pay-Per-View but it turns out it's just one match!
Onto the show:
We start with a video from Contra hyping themselves up, showing that they just go from strength to strength.
Next we have a video from Hulk Lesnar (Alex Hammerstone) showing his championship win and stating he'll face Contra anywhere and anytime in any match.
Samael fires back saying he has an "army that will destroy MLW" which seems a bit counter-intuitive if he wants to keep a job.
Mateo from Benidorm (Cesar Duran) graces the stage, telling us that "Tonight Contra's war against MLW reaches the final battle. Tonight he will give us, his MLW renegades, the WAR CHAMBER!"
But first, he has some news. He had a meeting with Court Bauer about 2022's "Aggressive Expansion", and as the owner of Azteca Underground he announces that MLW is going to Mexico! Arrriba!
5150 come onto the screen shouting what I think is something about basically kicking the shite out of Los Parks? They stole a mask and burnt it, announcing Homicide is back and that he's gone to find a screwdriver to put some shelves in his bottom, or something? (I would like these guys if they didn't shout so much. My poor ears.)
Mads Krugger comes onto the screen saying "War Chamber is upon us, he needs his most loyal soldiers" He follows up with "Tonight, as we enter the War Chamber, we will break their spirits and end MLW forever. Hail Hydra..Er I mean Contra."
Another ad for Thomas the Big Beef. Followerd by a video of the Hammerheads training.
Announcing next week's show, we are live in Philadelphia, and remember:
Next week, we also have a ladder match for the National Openweight Championship:
Then we have the Semi-Finals for the Opera Cup:
But as for right now...
IT'S TIME TO GO TO WAR IN THE WAR CHAMBER!
We begin proceedings with Jacob Fatu entering the ring first, waving a Contra flag. Next up is the "surprise entrant" for the Hammerheads, Mateo's brother, Matanza Duran! Except, his gear says Jeff Cobb?... As Paulhausen said "They didn't think this through, did they?"
The bell rings and the match gets underway, the pair waste no time sharing strikes, shoulder barges and whipping each other across the ring before Cobb hits a dropkick. Fatu drops Cobb to the mat with a shoulder barge.
Fatu swears and starts pummeling Cobb. Fatu pushes Cobb into the corner, chops and fails a charge. Cobb takes over, lifts him onto the turnbuckle, dropkicks him and hits a front suplex, he drives Fatu into the buckles carrying him on his shoulder.
Cobb continues to dominate the match with big strikes as the countdown ends and Contra win the toss, Sentai Death Squad Member #1 comes in (He'll be referred to as 1)
1 takes Cobb down with a sidewalk slam and we go to an ad. This ad is just telling us that MLW is in Dallas, TX Friday 21 Jan 2022. Be there if you can! (Goddammit I miss CarShield...)
Next an ad from Stephen New saying he loves pro-wrestling.
Contra are in control of the match when we come back. Cobb is beaten down in the ring where Fatu is waving his flag. (That is not a euphemism)
Countdown comes to a close again and Savio Vega comes down to the ring. Once again he shows his Samurai skills and drops Fatu & 1.
For the next few minutes Vega and Cobb dominate Fatu and 1, Cobb with his God-given ham hocks, Vega with his samurai stick. He's gone full Bankai!
The countdown comes to an end again and Contra wins the next coin toss! Out comes Ikuro Kwon! This dude has a sick mask, I love it. He dodges Vega's bushido assault like a pro, knocks Cobb down with a swift axe kick, a tag team assault with Fatu drops the Hammerheads down within seconds.
The countdown comes down again after the people in the ring have a bit of a rest, Hammerheads win this coin toss and Richard Holliday makes his way down, hits a backbreaker on Kwon and rams 1 into the cage and drops him on his head, Fatu slaps the skin off his face but Holliday manages to rally with a boot to the face in the corner before receiving a swift hit on the top of the turnbuckle to a front-falling neckbreaker.
Everyone takes a nap. Then Holliday starts stomping Kwon in the corner as the countdown ends again and we have Sentai Death Squad Member #2 (hereby referred too as 2, are you seeing the pattern develop?) come down to the ring and he stomps on Vega, who has been napping this whole time. Everyone else seems to be taking a break while 2 gets his hits in..
We go to an ad as Kwon screams "CONTRAAA!" into the camera. Next! Another ad from Stephen New about ear buds again or something?
We go back to the action, not much is happening to be honest, a few hits being traded but everything feels a little slow. Next person to enter the ring for the Hammerheads is EJ Nduka, EJ does as he always does, comes in and drops everyone down to the mat.
EJ made a real impression on me in his last match and I can't see him as anything but dominant, and he shows this by delivering a delayed suplex to 1, threw 2 into the cage twice, thrice and almost four if Fatu didn't give him a big ol' slap.
Fatu and EJ swap strikes until the countdown ends again and Mads Krugger comes down to the ring. EJ and Mads meet in the ring and lock up, Mads tries to hit EJ but he catches his fist and they try to chokeslam each other but fail, they then kick and barge each other before EJ takes over with strikes, driving Mads into the corner.
Kwon gets involved and kicks EJ in the head, Cobb charges but gets a boot from Mads and EJ plants Kwon. Mads has climbed to the top turnbuckle and takes EJ down with a dive, and proceeds to dominate Holliday in the corner. Fatu continues the assault with a hip charge and a dropkick from Kwon.
The countdown ends and the man himself comes down! Hulk Lesnar! Brock Hogan! Alex Hammerstone! SDSM 1 and 3 try to take him down but he's having none of it, he enters the ring and takes down Fatu, then Kwon, then 2, then Kwon again into the cage.
His energy doesn't last long until Mads chokeslam's him into the mat. He picks up Hammerstone but he elbows him in the face and hits the nightmare pendulum.
Another ad! This time from Richard Holliday, advertising a coffee mug "Dynastic Coffee", I have literally never wanted to buy anything less in my life. Next ad is advertising the ladder match next week.
Back in the ring, Hammerstone is trying to push an assault on Fatu but is getting nowhere, Fatu locks in an ankle lock, Holliday tries to free his teammate but again, gets nowhere.
Hammerstone hammers Fatu in the head and frees himself as he launches Fatu into Mads, he whips him into Hammerstone but Hammerstone elbows Mads, Fatu tries to hit a cannonball off the top turnbuckle onto Hammerstone but hits Mads instead, Kwon tries to put Hammerstone in a sleeper hold but he breaks him off and boots Kwon in the face. He puts Kwon into the torture rack and Kwon submits!
Winner: Hammerstone and the Hammerheads!
This match was mental all the way through. It started off slow and to their credit each wrestler got their moment to shine through the match, typically through their introductions.
Contra's dissention will likely continue thanks to the spot where Fatu accidentally assaulted Mads, twice.
However, even with Hammerstone's entry and domination of the match, the ending felt very quick and a little bit rushed with the torture rack on Kwon. Nevertheless, Hammerheads won and MLW is not destroyed.
After the match, Fatu and Mads face each other down in the ring, Fatu tries to check on his teammates but Mads conitnues to start shit, Kwon tries to calm the situation down but Fatu charges at Mads and they share strikes. Kwon tries to stop but gets thrown to the other side of the ring.
Fatu superkicks Mads, Kwon dropkicks Fatu and Fatu pop-up Samoan drops Kwon, Mads dumps Fatu out of the ring, Fatu grabs a chair and takes his anger out on the Sentai Death Squad, he wreaks havoc on them throwing them about the outside of the ring, he's not a happy boy, is he?
Mads charges at him, as does Kwon, all three men just going nuts and security finally gets involved, breaking them up. It's starting to make sense why they ended that match fairly quickly.
But the security guards can't stop Mads and Fatu going at each other! Even more come out and have to hold them back but even this isn't enough as Fatu dives on Mads once again.
This one can't believe what's happening!
Fatu is escorted out of the arena and the screen goes dark with Mads walking up the ramp and gesturing toward the ring.
We're taken backstage to Mateo and some lady talking about their past, leaving it behind and painting the future red, she says "show me the canvas" and Mateo points toward a blueprint of a ring, calling it a "cathedral of violence" as the show ends there.
We come to the end of War Chamber! This wasn't the full on PPV I thought it was going to be, but it was still really good! We have a new storyline unfolding with the dissention of Contra and the fight between Mads and Fatu, it will also be interesting to see what happens to the rest of the members!
I will admit that the War Chamber match was incredibly hard to call as there was so much going on, but I stuck with it and did my best.
Next week we'll have the special MLW Thanksgiving show with our Ladder Match for the National Openweight Championship and the Semi-Finals of the Opera Cup! Please join me next time! Joshhausen taking off!