MLW Bytesize: 11th March 2022

Joshhausen returns from hiatus to bring you MLW Superfight!

MLW Bytesize: 11th March 2022

G'day ladies and gents, it's me, Joshhausen! I've been gone for a while but now I'm back and I'm kicking it off in a super way with MLW Superfight! I won't bore you with anything else, let's dive right in!

We start with a promo leading up to the MLW World Championship match between Hammerstone and Richards. But we get interrupted by the newly-heel Richard Holliday, inviting people to try and take Davey Richards out of the main event, but this swiftly comes to nothing as Hammerstone comes to his defense.

Emilio Sparks confronts Richard Holliday and Alicia Atout. She says they don't need Emilio as she's the interview queen. She asks Richard if he's going to interfere. He says he doesn't know.

Our announcers give us the lineup for tonights show:

- KC Navarro Vs nZo (Grudge Match)
- 5150 Vs Von Erichs (MLW Tag Team Championship match)
- Alex Kane Vs ACH Vs Tankman (MLW National Openweight Championship)
- Davey Richards Vs Alex Hammerstone (MLW World Heavyweight Championship)

We go right into our first match:

Alex Kane Vs ACH Vs Tankman (MLW National Openweight Championship)
ACH comes down first, followed by Tankman and finally Alex Kane accompanied by his entourage.

The bell rings and all the men square up in the ring. Tankman starts beating on Kane and they trade blows while they toss ACH to the side. Tankman uses his size to dominate over Kane, attempts to launch himself outside but gets hit by a dropkick by ACH, who then gets taken down by Kane with a spear.

Kane goes to the outside but gets thrown into the barricade by Tankman. He continues launching him into the barricades and throwing in the ric flair specials. Kane manages to fight back, hitting Tankman into the post and getting in some basic offence, tries a suplex but Tankman is too heavy and breaks free. Kane throws Tankman into the post again, multiple times this time. Tankman gets thrown to the ground and Kane goes back into the ring where ACH starts an assault on Kane but is quickly taken down by the Suplex Assassin.

Kane continues with his suplex assault and gets a 2 count. ACH tries to counterattack, he manages to hit a suplex but it doesn't really get him anywhere. Tankman comes back into the match, ACH knocks Tankman off the apron and he responds by dragging ACH over the top rope out of the ring and climbs back in.

He hits Kane with a spinning back fist and a charge into the corner and spinebuster's Kane. He tries to hit a forearm on the back of Kane's head, misses but manages to hit a suplex. Tankman uses ACH as a battering ram and hits a backbreaker on Kane. ACH dodges an attack from Tankman and hits a suicide dive on Kane. ACH climbs to the top turnbuckle but gets stopped by Tankman who tried to hit a suplex, but failed. ACH tried to hit a sunset bomb but Tankman is too heavy.

ACH tries to lock in a cloverleaf submission but Kane comes back in, knocks Tankman out of the ring, and hits a leg trap suplex on ACH for the 3 count.

This was a good match. It managed to keep Kane in the championship without hurting Tankman so that their feud can continue.

Next we go backstage to Emilio Sparks with EJ Nduka. He asks why he's here if he's not on the card. He says he's here to watch the title match and he doesn't say which he's focused on.The Von Erichs are on their way to the ring but they get ambushed by the 5150 with weapons.

An announcement that Gangrel is coming soon.

Emilio confronts the tag team champs. 5150 as usual decide to conduct their promos by shouting into the camera. They say the Von Erichs hands are small and Boogie tells them to keep talking. They continue to shout. They throw a chair at a wall and continue shouting. They throw a bin and continue shouting. Boogie does the claw, and they mimic a ringing telephone. They grab their belts and leave shouting.

Next up, TJP is on screen wanting to talk about the Middleweight division. He says Myron Reed doesn't have the resume he has. He says the door policies are stupid and he has a leather face and he's going to take someones leg.

Grudge Match: KC Navarro Vs nZo
KC makes his way to the ring but nZo attacks before he even gets there.

KC gets whipped into the guard rails multiple times. nZo drops KC onto the guard rail right onto his grapes. He hits a razor's edge into the ringpost. 

He picks him up again and rolls KC into the ring. nZo prances around while KC struggles to move. He grabs the mic and asks KC if he still wants the match. KC says "How you doin' bitch?"

The bell rings and nZo stomps KC into the ground and grinds him against the ropes. nZo puts KC on the top turnbuckle and hits a backbreaker off the turnbuckle. KC kicks out at 2. nZo catapults KC into the ring ropes and KC seems to be struggling to breathe. nZo sits on the apron, slaps KC's chest and hits a DDT off the apron. He rolls KC back into the ring and KC breaks the pin with a foot on the rope.


nZo hits the "donezo"? (I imagine spelt dunZo?) for the 3 count.

Winner: nZo

This wasn't even a match really. It was just nZo stomping all over KC. Kind of boring, to be honest.

nZo grabs the mic again and says "I saw a meme, but it wasn't a meme that makes you laugh. It was one with a child that had a facial deformity that had the question: "Dad am I ugly?" and his dad said "No the world is."" He continues by saying "It's a cold world" and that he "woke up today, and is blessed." He says everybody in the ring has a gift and they should use it and show it to the world.
I really don't understand what this promo is...? He beats the shit out of him and says he has a gift and he's blessed..?  (I would continue writing this promo but it really makes absolutely no sense and I think nZo is on something..)

He ends it by saying KC has heart. A weird thing to say after you literally just ambushed and kicked the shit out of someone. He shakes KC's hand but it was a fakeout and he clotheslines him and hits the "dunZo" again and leaves.

Announcement that the tag team match is postponed indefinitely because Ross has sustained a grade 2 concussion and Marshall has knee and ankle injuries that could require surgery. 

During the break 5150 attack EJ Nduka and spraypaint him, then leave.

Alex Hammerstone Vs Davey Richards (MLW World Heavyweight Championship)
Richard Holliday comes down to the ring and gives a fan a bunch of money (100 in singles) to give up his seat for him and Alicia.

Davey Richards comes out next then followed by Alex Hammerstone.

They start with some grapples and agile combat around the ring but Richards quickly escapes out of the ring. Once back in, he charges at Hammerstone but ends up being thrown around the ring like a ragdoll and rolls out of the ring again after a suplex from Hammerstone. The match spills outside as Hammerstone continues his assault fromthe outside with strikes and whips into the guardrail. Hammerstone gets distrracted by Holliday and ends up ramming his own knee into the guardrail. Richards uses this opportunity to take control of the match by delivering a series of quick leg strikes and works on Hammerstone's injured leg.

Richards rolls Hammerstone back into the ring, intothe corner and continues working on the injured leg, tying it up in the ropes and stomping on it. He tries to lock Hammerstone into a figure four but turns it into a twisting leg snap. Richards goes for a suplex but Hammerstone is too heavy, Hammerstone reverses this and hits his own suplex but Richards lands on his feet and locks Hammerstone in the figure four. Richards adds more pressure to the lock but it's not enough to end the champions reign as he powers out of the lock, but Richards locks it right back in. Hammerstone reaches the ropes with some added drama. Camera snaps to Holliday who looks like a Poundland MJF.

We come back from ads and Richards is back on the offensive, tying up Hammerstones injured leg and delivering some lethal dropkicks. Hammerstone keeps getting up everytime he's knocked down, but not for long as Richards brings him down with those legs. Hammerstone begins to get mad, Richards knocks him down but Hammerstone activates Brock Mode but it does nothing as Richards knocks him down yet again with a reverse boom, but again.... Hammerstone pops back up like the Undertaker. 

They take some time to recover by trading strikes. Richards seems to take over the match with more of those deavastating leg strikes but Hammerstone catches him mid air and hits him with a swinging uranage. Hammerstone seems revived but you can tell his leg is injured.

He launches his own offense with some forearms in the corner but Richards quickly counters by grabbing his leg through the rope and hits a dragonscrew into the ring cable. Richards climbs up to the top turnbuckle and misses a dive as Hammerstone moves and hits an exploder suplex right into the turnbuckle.

Hammerstone gets a 2 count pin, Richards rolls to safety whilst Hammerstone nurses his injured leg. Hammerstone tries to suplex Richards onto the apron but Richards blocks the lift by hooking his leg under the rope. Hammerstone superkicks him and tries to suplex again but Richards escapes another suplex and dragonscrews Hammerstones leg through the rope again.

Richards climbs to the top rope again and stomps Hammerstone's leg on the apron, Hammerstone rolls into the ring and Richard climbs to the top turnbuckle again and double stomps Hammerstone, but only gets a 2 count. He goes right for the ankle lock looking to put Hammerstone away but Hammerstone reverses, pushes Richards against the ropes, Richards kicks Hammerstone in the face, but he quickly leaps up and hits the Nightmare Pendulum on Richards but before he can pin, Richards rolls out of the ring!

Hammerstone rolls Richards back in the ring, tries to setup for another Nightmare Pendulum but Richards turns it into a cradle pin but only gets a 2, Richards hits a flurry of strikes on Hammerstone trying to fire himself back up but Hammerstone hits a lariat that turns him inside out, hits the TKO for a 2 count.

Hammerstone picks him up again and hits a 2nd Nightmare Pendulum for the 3 count.



This was a great match, Hammer and Richards always put on a stellar show and them both together took it to a next level. It was a little slow at times, but their in ring chemistry is superb and I look forward to seeing them go at it again.

Richard Holliday looks on outside the ring with a face like a slapped arse.

Medical update on Nduka and the Von Erichs next week as well as an announcement of Rok-C Vs Miranda Gordy and TJP Vs Buddy Matthews!

Hammerstone squares up to Holliday and Alicia Atout sprays him in the eyes with some kinda pepper spray? Holliday takes this opportunity to beat down on Hammerstone, ram him into the ringpost, rams his head into the ground, Hammerstone has been busted open and Holliday continues his assault. Security and officials try to split the two up and they succeed, pulling Holliday away and he's covered in Hammerstone's blood. Hammerstone fights back but gets dragged away before Holliday dives right back on him.

As Hammerstone gets dragged up the ring ramp by officials, he runs back down and starts beating on Holliday who for some reason decides to tear his shirt off like the shittest Incredible Hulk in history. Holliday seems to literally be a budget MJF.

And the show ends there! I hope you've enjoyed this weeks MLW as much as I have, its set the stage up for some big things! I just wish they would stick to one naming convention.. Superfight, Azteca, Fusion, Fusion Alpha, etc.. I'm confused!

Anyways, see you later, love that Danhausen or be cursed.