Major League Wrestling Bytesize: 10th November 2021
Fresh off the ROH Rollercoaster, Joshhausen has paid his token for a new weekly ride: Major League Wrestling!
Good Timezone! Joshhausen here. In a format change, due to the encroaching end of Ring Of Honor, I have decided to make the switch ahead of time and begin reviewing MLW! This is so that when ROH does return, I won't have become rusty and I can continue on reviewing both shows!
I will admit that I am completely new to MLW, having only watched it twice or thrice. But nevertheless, I will throw myself into this fully. I hope I bring Honor to MLW, I will try my best to make my reviews Dynamite and hopefully they'll leave a nice IMPACT that'll Smackdown and leave you RAW! That is to say, I plan to put all my POWERRR into these and make them STRONG.
Without any further ado, let's get this Rampage going!
On with the show!
We start outside the venue with EJ and Hammerstone being accosted for a quick interview asking how Hammerstone's ankle is. Hammerstone talks with his mouthful (gross) and the interviewer tries to speak to Holliday but he seems to be on the phone to MJF talking about Sting maybe?
Cesar Duran rocks up talking to Hammerstone saying they need a fourth member, he offers one of his own but they deny it saying they don't trust him. Cesar asks them to put aside their distrust, take this opportunity and eliminate Contra once and for all. Hammerstone says "enough with the shakespeare" and asks for the name. Cesar doesn't name anyone but holds a key in their face, which is pretty ominous, let's be honest. Reviewer's Note: From this point on, I will be referring to Cesar Duran as Matteo, as he looks like Matteo from Benidorm
Image courtesy of ShareTV.com
We go into the arena now, and can I just take a moment to say, while I love Ring Of Honor, I'm immediately enjoying MLW more. It's so nice to review a show with a crowd and never again will I ever underestimate how important a crowd is to the enjoyment of pro wrestling!
MLW Tag Team Champions Los Parks Vs 5150 Slice Boogie & Danny Rivera (Escorted by Konnan & Dr Julius Smokes):
Both teams come down to the ring and enter, but waste no time getting into it and brawling right off the bell. Both teams continue their brawl for a good while, neither side really taking the advantage.. Los Parks seem to take the advantage but this is very short lived as Homicide makes his way down to the ring.
Homicide enters the ring and the 5150 quickly take over the match very shortly before LA Park Sr comes down to the ring with a chair. Los Parks take over the match spilling 5150 to the outside, following up by delivering a triple suicide dive through the middle rope to 5150 members on the outside of the ring.
The brawl continues on the outside whilst LA Park Jr sets up a table in the corner on the inside. Boogie enters the ring again to face off against Jr, but ends up on the receiving end of belt strikes. Boogie rallies and the pair share strikes, but ends with Boogie being German suplexed and Canadian destroyered for a 2 count.
Jr taunts and tries to drop Boogie into the table but ended up going through the table himself via a powerbomb from Boogie, but Boogie quickly receives a chairshot from Sr. The ref calls a No Contest due to interference and the chair shot (but was okay with the table? Cool.) but Julius Smokes enters the ring, takes out the ref. LA Park brawls with Rivera and Homicide, he taunts them but quickly gets taken down. El Hijo gets in the ring and brawls with Rivera, the bell still ringing but it's being ignored.
Rivera takes down El Hijo with an enzuigiri and follows with a corkscrew clothesline. Homicide is in the ring with Jr, gets superkicked, Jr taunts but gets dropped out the ring by Homicide who follows up with a tope con hilo out of the middle rope.
Sr is now in the ring with Boogie, the bell STILL ringing, Sr is controlling this.. "match"? Dropping Boogie to the ground with a spear. On the outside, Rivera gets twatted with a broken half of the table, everything just breaking out into a brawl.
(I'll be honest with you, dear reader... at this point I feel there's no point in calling what's happening.. it's just an all out brawl on the outside, between all competitors, the bell IS STILL RINGING but no one cares, chairs flying everywhere! It's just pure carnage and I love it...)
We then get moved to an ad where a picture is shown of what looks to be Thomas the Tank Engine after a harsh weekend out with the Fat Controller, he now has a new tattoo that says: "Big Beef Gnarls Garvin"
We come back and Contra's Josef Samael is on the screen saying that "Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love" but more like the city of "Sweaty fat fucking pigs, scummy, inbred, window licking garbage people". He says all the fans in Philly are known for backing losers, like Hammerstone, EJ Nduka and Holiiday. He finishes saying once they step in his cage there is nowhere to run or hide.
Reviewer's note: These are the exact words Samael said, he doesn't seem to like Philadelphia. However, personally I think:
Image courtesy of SpoilerTV.com
AND THE FIRST MATCH BRAWL IS STILL ON AFTER THE ADS! Security can't break them up, Jacob Fatu has gotten involved, too, they've stolen El Hijo's mask and that's the end of it. Next we finally move onto a new match!
As this is where the opening (Kind of?) match officially ends, I'll give my thoughts here. This was insane. A lot of the time I had no idea what was going on, I called it as best I could but it was really just utter chaos from beginning to end and I loved every second of it. If this is what we can expect from MLW, I'm in.
12 Man Elimination Tag Team Matchup: The Beastman (w/ Kimchee), Kevin Ku, Gino Medina, KC Navarro, Ikuro Kwon and King Mo Vs Zenshi, Warhorse, Savio Vega, Blue Meanie, Richard Holliday and EJ Nduka
We have a short brawl between both teams then we start with Ku and Warhorse. They trade chops and Warhorse hits a lariat and a heavy dropkick, to a hard knee into the corner, goes for a coup de grace but fails. Kwon comes in and kicks Warhorse in the head, goes out again as Ku hits a gutwrench sideslam for a 3 count.
EJ enters against King Mo, EJ hits a spinebuster and gets a quick 3 count on Mo.
King Mo Eliminated
Ku enters the ring to face up against EJ. He gets knocked down quickly but rallies, or so we thought. He gets hit by a spinning powerbomb and gets knocked out quickly by EJ.
Kevin Ku Eliminated
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Back in the ring, KC is facing off against Holliday. They both shout a lot, before Holliday hits a cheap shot, KC rallies and dropkicks Holliday out of the ring, following up with a senton over the top. He throws Holliday back in the ring and hits a huge leapfrog splash but only gets a 2.
Holliday launches KC to the other side of the ring and Zenshi enters the ring. There's a lot of agility and flips going on before an impressive tilt-a-whirl headscissors, Zenshi botches a hurricanrana but drops KC on his face.
Kwon enters the ring but Zenshi takes them both out with a backflip kick, pins Kwon but only gets a 2 and tags Beastman in. Beastman misses a stomp and Zenshi tries to use his speed but it doesn't work as he tries a crossbody. Beastman catches him and just throws him into the corner and hits an incredibly painful looking cannonball, Zenshi, limp as a noodle, gets pinned for the 3 count.
Vega enters to face Beastman, Vega takes Beastman down like a Samurai with swift kendo strikes and a heel kick but was quickly taken down after the ref took his stick, Beastman hit a lariat and a splash for a 3 count.
Savio Vega Eliminated
Beastman standing in the ring, looking like the love child of Brian Blessed and James Corden, prepares for the next entrant. Blue Meanie enters next. Blue Meanie announces they're gonna do it "Sumo Style."... This should be......well....something?
They proceed to do just that, barging into each other until Meanie gets Beastman into the corner, he prepares to charge at him but Beastman takes the advantage, charging, splashing and pinning Blue Meanie for the 3.
Blue Meanie Eliminated
EJ enters the ring to face off against Beastman. They share strikes and Kimchee tries to cross body but they both catch him and throw him off into the corner. EJ gets kicked in the gut and Beastman charges at him but he moves and Kimchee takes the hit. EJ capitalizes on the confusion with a spinebuster and pins Beastman for the 3.
EJ pins Kimchee even though he's not in the match(?)
Holliday is tagged in as is Gino, they trade strikes and lariats on the ropes until Holliday hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and the action spills to the outside. Gino seems to have the advantage with swift strikes. Holliday keeps trying to grab him but he won't let up. Holliday charges at an approaching Kwon but meets a superkick, Holliday can't get back in the ring in time and gets eliminated.
Holliday Eliminated via count out
It's now 3 on 1 against EJ who is the last in the match for his side. He knocks down KC, Gino and Kwon. EJ hits his trademark spinebuster and takes out Gino.
Gino Medina Eliminated
Another spinebuster to KC Navarro and a 3 count.
KC Navarro Eliminated
Ikuro Kwon and EJ left in the match, EJ prepares a chokeslam into a fireman's carry, Ikuro tries to break out but EJ hits another spinebuster (despite preparing for multiple other moves?) and hits the final 3 count.
Ikuro Kwon Eliminated
Winner: EJ Nduka
This match was a great brawl, there were some very quick eliminations meaning I didn't get to see many people's ability sadly, and some people I would have loved to have seen more of, Warhorse and Kevin Ku specifically. There was the funny part with Beastman and Blue Meanie but there was absolutely no doubt that EJ Nduka dominated this match.
An announcement that Matteo has another big surprise for us next week at War Chamber, nothing else. Moving on.
We get taken backstage to a meeting between Matteo and Willow. He says he knows she's friends with some of her competitors. She interrupts him saying she knows him, his work and admires it, and says she wants to be part of the matches he creates, not to make friends.
She makes a bold statement, saying that she plans to take the title and MAKE the title. As a side note, I love Willow Nightingale, she was great fun to watch in ROH and I'm excited to see even more of her in MLW.
At this point Matteo's associate comes in, I didn't catch his name but he looks like Thing 1 or 2? He mentions something (in silence) about Jacob Fatu and Matteo excuses himself from Willow.
Almost immediately we're taken to Matteo's office where Fatu is beating up Thing and Matteo is waiting for Fatu. Matteo asks if he knows the story of the double edged sword? I assume he's referring to the fact a double edged sword can cause damage to both wielder and enemy.. he clears this up by teliing Fatu that he can't have his rematch as Josef Samael struck some kind of deal and hasn't approved it, and that Fatu needs to take control of his own destiny.
Announcement for next week: Contra Vs Hammerheads at War Chamber.
Main Event - 2021 Opera Cup Semi-Finals: Bobby Fish Vs Davey Richards
Davey Richards comes down to the ring first in his bath robe, I think he was in a hurry.
Bobby Fish is out next, but nothing fancy about his entrance, not that he needs it. You always know it's gonna be good when the Fish arrives. (Okay that sound's kinda gross, sorry.)
They bump fists, grapple for a wee bit and the Fish hits a light kick. They dance around for a bit, hold hands and cuddle, Richards goes round the back (ooh, careful now!) FIsh gets him in an armlock but Richards rolls about and breaks out, Fish escapes to the outside.
He re-enters the ring (Ooh, er!) and they trade waistlocks until Richards launches Fish to the outside. Richards tries to hit Fish off the apron but gets knocked down and thrown into the railings, Richards seems to have hurt his leg. Fish drags him back into the ring, Richards leg is causing him a lot of trouble, Fish hits an elbow and goes for a pin to a 1 count.
Richards goes outside the ring to try and rest but Fish follows him and kicks him to the chest, Richards takes off to the other side and we get a repeat of earlier yet this time Richards gets knocked down. Outside the ring still and back on his feet, they share strikes but Fish takes over with a back kick and then throws Richards back in the ring.
Fish seems to be dominating but when he tries speeding himself up against the ropes, Richards takes him out with a knee, sending Fish flying to the outside apron.
We have an advert from a lawyer firm about military ear plugs or something...? Man, I miss Ice-T and CarShield...
Back in the ring, Richards is in control with Fish on the mat with a wristlock, he stomps on his elbow and Fish escapes to the corner but only for a few seconds before Richards gets him back in the lock on the mat.
Richards is innovative with his submission locks and switches them up swiftly before Fish gets a rope break. They share strikes, Richards tries to lock in a submission but ends up just snapping his leg, Fish is in the corner being checked over but Richards takes no time in knocking him back down with an uppercut into a bodyscissors.
Fish breaks out and gets to his feet but Richards hits him with a swift kick. The pair square up and Richards knocks him to the ground again. They share strikes on their feet, Fish strikes Richards' bad leg and knocks him to the mat. Fish charges Richards in the corner, lifts him and drives him into the opposite corner and hits a dragonscrew legwhip.
Fish hits a fish hook to a 2 count, he then attempts a springboard senton but Richards got his knees up. Richards tries to kick Fish but he grabs that leg into a leg lock, Richards almost taps but he counters it into a sharpmooser (Sorry Adz, Sharpshooter) but Fish counters it again into a 2 count pin.
Both men back on their feet kick each other in the face, and continue to repeat this. Fish tried to hit an exploder suplex but Richards counters this into an ankle lock. Fish manages to kick Richards off, tries to rest but Richards lamps him in the face and hits a brainbuster for a 2 count. Richards goes right back into an ankle lock, Fish can't take it anymore and taps!
Winner, advancing to the finals: Davey Richards
This was a great main event! Bobby Fish was incredibly dominant for the vast majority of this match, both men suffering injuries to their legs but it very much made it seem that Davey Richards was going to lose. Somehow though, he manages to pull it out of the bag with some impressive offense at the end!
Richards displays good sportsmanship asking the crowd to cheer for Fish as well, offers a handshake to Fish which he accepts and they then hug, what a touching moment.
We then go backstage with Alicia Atout and Hammerheads, she says that their team is shaping up to be amazing with their new addition but there is one addition left, they think it could be Matteo's brother based on the key. Hammerstone doesn't think it's on the table, Holliday isn't happy with the newest addition.
Thing comes up and whispers into Alicia's ear that Holliday has been given a title shot and Holliday mockingly says he's gonna "stab Hammerstone in the back." They mock the usual "friend-coming-to-cheer-then-betray-new-champ" angle.. this was actually pretty good.
Hammerstone says that Matteo isn't playing mind-games with him, as he wants to face Holliday.
Another video advertising Contra's members, and how Hammerstone had beaten Jacob Fatu for the title, setting up the Contra V Hammerheads match for War Chamber ends this weeks episode
So! We come to the end! For my first outing of MLW this was actually a great show. I'm not sure how I feel yet about the whole Soap Opera style promo things with Matteo that happen but.. I feel I'll get used to them. But overall, if MLW is this good every week, I can see myself really enjoying this show!
Be sure to join me next week for the MLW Special, War Chamber! Joshhausen Out!