JP’s WWE Experience February 28th-4th March
JP is back to run you through another week of WWE programming!
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages. It’s JP here back to run you through another week of WWE programming. We are on the road to Wrestlemania people (if anyone even cares anymore considering how good AEW has been, take Revolution that just took place as an example) and we are going to waste no time by getting straight into it. Let’s go!
WWE Raw 1st March
Logan Paul back in the game… WWE i mean, not filming certain things we don’t mention!
We start our three highlights fairly later in the show as the first half had no exciting developments or decent matches. The second half however as you’ll see was absolutely amazing!
We start this segment with Rey and Dominik, the second best father-son tag team behind Sting and Darby Allin, who stated they were going to practically kill The Miz and Logan Paul at Wrestlemania, so I’m sure Logan is excited at the prospect that he can get some more content from someone else's unfortunate death.
Because it is a weekly televised episode of WWE programming of course we had an interruption as Miz heard his name and decided he should fire back. He listed a large bunch of the accomplishments of himself and Logan before taking the piss out of Eddie Guerrero, not cool man! Twitter will be pushing for him to be cancelled already after that and knowing how much of the twitter users are snowflakes, the A-lister may not have long left in the spotlight. He then stated the Mysterios would lose their match that would follow against the Hurt Business, to which I audibly laughed out loud at knowing their record may be getting to a stage Curt Hawkins would be proud of.
IT’S ALWAYS FINN! TOO SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET!
Now this was something I can happily mention I was not expecting whatsoever, so it came as a pleasant surprise to say the least. Finn Balor was facing Damien Priest with the United States title on the line, judging by the title you can probably anticipate the result in this one… or did I swerve you?
Priest started strong before a basement dropkick rallied some momentum in Balor’s favour. He proceeded to hit a huge dive to the outside, which looked like Balor was attempting to break his neck due to the awkward position he landed in. He then hit a double stomp before sending Priest into the corner with a dropkick. He missed the Coup De Grace that was attempted as a follow up before reversing Damien's finish, due to his profession, a priest, I’m hoping we mean finish in a Wrestling point of view rather than finishing on an underage child’s face. ANYWAYS…
Priest finally got a chokeslam which only seemed to anger his opponent who heard the demons in his head begging for the 1916, to which he obeyed then followed with a picture perfect Coup De Grace to get not only a one count, not only a two, but the three to become your new US Champion.
Priest got on the mic at the end and vowed to regain the title before launching an assault on the victor. He hit a crucifix powerbomb on the outside, considering he’s supposed to be a priest, to have a move with crucifix in the name may not be the wisest move considering his entire job is to promote God’s work. That sounded like he was promoting some author called God but you get the point I was trying to convey.
As previously mentioned, this was a welcome shock and the theme of changing the midcard champion seemed to be a running theme as we’ll learn on the Smackdown portion of the review. I can’t wait for the demon to return at Wrestlemania just to lose and bury the alter-ego even further!
A phenomenal rated-r segment!
No, unfortunately we didn’t see the partnership between Pornhub and WWE be formed here, but with the title, you’d have definitely suspected that to be the case!
Edge was out to close the show and was still waiting to see who answered his challenge for Wrestlemania and who came out to accept… Reapo Man! No, don’t get your hopes up, it was only AJ Styles.
You fools who thought it would be Cody Rhodes may as well crawl back in your cave and I’ll call you out when WWE is no longer a business and Cody Rhodes never made an appearance again before saying ‘I told you so’ before sending you back.
Back on track, a massive brawl broke out, as you’d expect to start the build of a massive feud that culminates in a match at Wrestlemania. AJ went for a phenomenal forearm which was dodged and met with a low blow courtesy of the Rated-R suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuperstar, which makes sense considering Rated-R movies usually involve a bit of penis play, got to love some unnecessary alliteration!
Edge unloaded on AJ, again sounds too much like a failed porno for my liking, before getting a bunch of chairs and hitting the con-chair-to to take us off air. This is a dream match fans have been drooling at the prospect of since Edge’s huge Royal Rumble return back in 2020, inevitably people will still complain about it somehow but hey, that’s wrestling fans for you!
A very slow start to Raw, but it picked up in the second half and really made the show worth watching. A very good build to certain storylines, namely Edge v Styles, and that’s all you can ask for on the road to Wrestlemania. Find a full list of results below!
- Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins def. The Alpha Academy
- Omos def. T-Bar
- Rhea Ripley, Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan def. Becky Lynch, Doudrop & Nikki A.S.H
- Tommaso Ciampa def. Robert Roode
- Dana Brooke & Reggie def. Akira Tozawa & Tamina
- The Hurt Business def. Rey & Dominik Mysterio
- The Street Profits def. RK-Bro
- Finn Balor def. Damian Priest to become the new United States Champion
WWE Smackdown 4th March
Our Irish hero Rick O’Shea is finally rewarded… wait a minute
WHY WWE WHY??????? I was willing to let the conspiracy theory against Sami Zayn go after his amazing Intercontinental title win merely a couple of weeks ago but then you go and do this. Don’t get me wrong, Ric deserves this but… REALLY????
Well, let’s just get this out of the way! Sami Zayn was defending his IC title against our Irish hero Ric O’Shea to kick off this week's in-ring action.
Ricochet went for an early combo of strikes before Zayn came back with an in-zayn clothesline followed by a beautifully executed suplex. Ric got a near fall following a frankensteiner before Sami hit a big slam, a very back and forth contest so far, very nice!
Zayn kicked out of a standing moonsault only to be met with a superkick signed for and posted by our Irish hero. This is when shit hit the fan and I was contemplating having a bubble bath with a toaster. The feud with the Jackass himself Johnny Knoxville seems set to continue as he made his way down to the ring, got on the apron to distract Zayn which allowed Ricochet to hit the most devastating move in allllllllllllllllll of sports entertainment, the surprise roll up to become your new Intercontinental champion.
I take back all I said a couple of weeks ago, the conspiracy is still as present as ever and we won’t stop until he gets justice! #JusticeforSami. On a more positive note, our Irish hero Ric O’Shea finally got what he deserved by winning this title as he’s been criminally underused, however, he seems to be a placeholder so they could develop the Sami v Knoxville feud.
Speaking of that feud, after the match Zayn was fuming (as he should be!) and he trashed the backstage area before challenging Knoxville to a match at Mania which was later confirmed.
Here’s a theory…
Next on Smackdown Austin Theory was out and squared up to Pat McAfee on commentary before stating he would face him at Wrestlemania before slapping his headset off. Pat got on the table and accepted meaning we’ll be getting this match on the grandest stage of them all.
Pat was furious and asked who Theory even was and considering his job as a commentator means he’s called some of his matches, this was strange to say the least. After this, he even blamed Michael Cole for the intrusion. Just like that people, we have a new feud that you wouldn’t find in pro wrestling, just sports entertainment.
Baddest woman on the planet beats up a snob in a suit, deja vu anyone?
For the main event we had Ronda Rousey taking on Sonya Deville. I must say, it’s good to see Deville back in the squared circle, even if her gimmick is totally shit!
The match kicked off with Deville hitting a flying knee and locking in a headlock. It’s worth noting Charlotte was at ringside to ‘watch’, so you know the aftermath of this bout even without being a wrestling fan. Rousey came back by using the ropes to her advantage to lock in a submission, and within a matter of minutes, locked in the armbar to make Sonya submit quicker than Anastasia Steel, and even that’s doing an injustice to Anna!
As we all saw coming, Charlotte tried to jump Rousey, but the latter locked in an ankle lock and made the champ tap not once, but twice. Smackdown went off air with the champion looking weak as piss, lovely booking.
That finished this week’s Smackdown and it’s fair to say it was fairly vanilla, no real spice involved. A fresh change seeing the show close with somebody other than Roman Reigns for once however! Find a full list of results below!
- Ricochet def. Sami Zayn to become the new Intercontinental Champion
- Naomi def. Carmella
- Drew McIntyre def. Jinder Mahal
- The Usos def. The Viking Raiders to retain the SmackDown Tag Team Titles
- Big E vs. Sheamus- DNF
- Ronda Rousey def. Sonya Deville
That brought this week in WWE programming to a close and we saw some fairly decent building of feuds for Wrestlemania. The change of both midcard championships was a surprise to say the least, but both are excellent champions and I’m begging to see a six-man ladder match for one of these at Mania like the good old days. Anyway that’s all from me, thanks for reading and I’ll catch you next week!