JP’s WWE Experience 4th-8th April
JP is back to run you through what happened in WWE the week following Wrestlemania. Including NXT!
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! It’s JP here back to run you through what happened this week on WWE programming. This week was the first week following Wrestlemania, boy, I could go on about that train wreck all day! There were positives of course, but when less than a quarter of the show (including pre show) was wrestling, then there’s a lot of obvious issues, especially when neither the US or IC titles were on the show. Anyway, let’s stop rambling about that for a moment…
Pixc is taking a couple of weeks off his NXT reviews, so we will be covering them in this review to still let you know what happened on the black and gold brand… crap! I mean NXT 2.0, also often referred to in our group as Art Attack. Anyway, let’s just crack on!
Raw April 4th
It’s Rody Chodes… on Raw… in 2022… WHAT THE!!!
Well, I denied it and I denied it despite the rumours, surely there was no way Cody could ever come back to WWE after the things he said about the company. Well, I can admit I was wrong, as here he is, not just that but as the American Nightmare too, not even Smoke and Mirrors Cody. Anyway, despite my clear disbelief over his return at Wrestlemania, which I have to mention made Wrestlemania semi-worth it, he was here to kick off Raw… have I slipped into a time machine or something?
He was immensely cheered upon his return to the red brand, which was very contrasting to the audience reaction he was receiving in AEW before his shock switch. He stated his decision to return to WWE was not difficult before stating he had signed a multi-million… I mean a multi-year deal with the company after ‘leaving them in the dust’. He proceeded to show a picture of his father Dusty Rhodes with the WWE championship at MSG in 1977. He teared up before stating the return to the company wasn’t for himself, but for his family and late father.
Being the beginning of Raw, of course we had an interruption courtesy of Seth Rollins. FINALLY! THE DRIP GAWD HAS PROVIDED!!! He came out in this masterpiece of a suit, marking the return of:
Name- Pink made me wank, I mean wink. Rating- 8.5/10. A brilliant return to the Suit of the Week with this beauty. Just look at all that pink! Cody was tearing up earlier, now I think I am at the beauty of that suit.
Anyway, let’s stop jizzing over Rollins’ fashion brilliance for a moment. He stared down Cody, who held out his hand to the visionary. Seth hesitantly shook it before remarking ‘welcome home’. A nice heartwarming start to Raw, that was just a feel good opening. A nice welcome back to Rhodes, let’s see how WWE manage to book him back into becoming Stardust!
ELIAS IS BACK!!! Wait, sorry, Ezekiel?
Well ummmm… this wasn’t the return I had in mind but it was comedy gold regardless. Ironic I mentioned Gold immediately after a Cody segment, isn’t it! 8 million dollar deal ladies and gentlemen!!!
Anyway, Kevin Owens was out to cut a promo stating he underestimated Stone Cold before blaming his loss on an ‘injury’ he sustained lifting weights before the showcase of immortals. Owens said the loss should be chalked from his record because of this, nice try Kev! This was before we had some unfamiliar music play, which marked the return of Elias… kind of. It was actually Ezekial, Elias’ little brother. This was comedy gold as the returning Elias had shaved his beard, so he looked very different. The crowd kept chanting Elias when Ezekial got frustrated stating it wasn’t him. Owens piggy backed onto this, insisting he was a liar and was actually Elias. Ezekiel and KO argued about who was lying before Owens started a ten count for Ezekial to leave the ring. After Ezekial did not leave following the count, Owens laughed and left.
It’s nice to see Elias return in some capacity, but the fact he’s just a comedy character hasn’t seemed to have changed. Another unnecessary name change too, but we all know Vince loves one of those!
On the Edge of insanity!
I get so excited over wordplay that I took a minute after that title to truly honour myself as the King of wordplay. Edge was out and stated he didn’t expect Damien Priest to be at Wrestlemania to help him win his match. He said him and Priest had a lot in common before calling him out to the ring. Saying you have a lot in common with a priest is dangerous Edge, I didn’t know he was one for touching minors!
Damien eventually made his way to the ring, saying Edge’s message resonated with him and he pledged his allegiance to him. This is brilliant, a good stable is seemingly being built here, one I’m excited to see develop and could be amazing if booked correctly. They then agreed the fans were sheep and what they said didn’t matter. Edge then acknowledged AJ Styles would want revenge but it would be unwise for him to seek it. Because he clearly has a death wish, AJ made his way to the ring but got destroyed by the new stable which I’m going to call the underaged children’s society. Priest and Edge destroyed him like he was a twelve year old boy seeking guidance from someone close to God. AJ tried to come back by sending Edge into the steel stairs but the number game caught up to him and got double teamed like a good friday night on the altar in church. Edge prepared for the con-chair-to to make sure AJ didn’t tell his parents how he got molested, but he was stopped by officials when the underaged children’s society walked off laughing.
That brought us to the end of the Raw after Wrestlemania; the show was really hard to only pick three highlights for! Other honourable mentions were Bron Breakker regaining the NXT off Dolph ziggle wiggle, Roman Reigns’ show closing promo and the most important of all… VEER IS HERE! Before we list the full results for what was a truly spectacular Raw after Wrestlemania, I have prepared a beautiful poem for you all following the arrival of Veer!
- Sasha Banks & Naomi def. Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan
- The Miz def. Dominik Mysterio
- Bron Breakker def. Dolph Ziggler to become new NXT champion
- The Usos & Austin Theory def. RK-Bro & Finn Balor
- The Street Profits def. The Alpha Academy
NXT 2.0 5th April
The owner of Central Perk is in a main event for the NXT title?
The main event of this week’s NXT, the first following Stand and Deliver, saw Bron Breakker defending his recently regained NXT title against Gunther… Fucking Gunther. God, I miss Walter! STOP THE UNNECESSARY NAME CHANGES VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!!!
Bron was in control in the early going, Gunther tried to come back with a big boot but was only met with a spear following this. Breakker went for the finish early but failed to be able to lift his opponent. He seemed to have hurt his shoulder following this; Gunther took advantage and sent him into the steel stairs. The Ring General remained in control, hitting some chops and german suplexes. Breakker came back with a german suplex of his own, Gunther followed this however by hitting a splash and gained a few near falls before getting caught with a beautiful mid-air spear courtesy of the champ after attempting another top rope move. This was the beginning of the end for Gunther, as Bron finally managed to lift him for the gorilla-press slam to get the win and retain the NXT championship.
Following the match, we saw Breakker’s dad Rick Steiner congratulating his son on his victory. The camera zoomed out when we saw Joe Gacy and Haarland holding Rick captive, which took us off air. Gacy and Haarland clearly have a plan going forward to try and capture the NXT title. A good ending to a great match, setting up a feud, it gives us a clear direction going forward which many WWE shows fail to do.
A decent episode of NXT 2.0 and as previously stated, NXT 2.0 will be included in the next few weeks following Pixc’s short absence. When he returns, the reviews will return to normal. Find a full list of results below!
- The Creed Brothers def. Imperium
- Dexter Lumis vs. Duke Hudson - Double count-out
- Toxic Attraction def. Dakota Kai & Raquel Gonzalez to win the NXT Womens’ Tag Team Championships
- Nikkita Lyons def. Lash Legend
- Bron Breakker def. Gunther to retain the NXT Championship
NXT LEVEL UP 8th April
- Javier Bernal def. Guru Raaj
- Ivy Nile def. Thea Hail
- Andre Chase & Bodhi Hayward def. Troy Donovan & Channing Lauren
Smackdown 8th April
‘I Quit’ with WWE booking
To kick off Smackdown, we had Ronda Rousey, so immediately we were reminded that Charlotte beat her at Wrestlemania which may be one of the biggest pieces of bullshit from WWE creative I’ve ever seen. She challenged Charlotte to an I quit match, before the ‘Queen’ showed up on the titantron stating she would not be accepting her challenge and that she should just go back to the locker room. Ronda said she’d get the match one way or another before walking off.
This is all set up for Ronda winning the title as an I Quit match fits right in her territory as the so called ‘baddest woman on the planet’ isn’t going to be seen saying I Quit, let’s be honest. They have really missed their chance on this feud. The match should’ve always been an I Quit match with Ronda winning, but in their first match at Wrestlemania rather than having Rousey to lose. Sometimes I don’t know what WWE creative are on, but this is how it makes me feel.
They’ve proper Butch-ered his name
That word play was once again so good that I will give you a minute to give me a round of applause, go on, I’m waiting! I refuse to call him Butch, so Pete Dunne was out to face XXXavier Woods next on Smackdown.
Woods was taken down early before Dunne unloaded on him, which wasn’t as pleasant as the unloading he got from Paige. He was then subject to some joint manipulation that Dunne is best known for. Woods managed to get back into the match, reversing a tackle in the corner before sending Dunne into the turnbuckle. The match eventually stumbled to the outside, where the King was dropped on the apron, which I’ve recently discovered from a WWE ring developer is the hardest part of that goddamn ring!!! Pete stomped on Woods' hand upon their return to the ring and took the porn maestro down with a kick. This was to no avail however, as upon his return to his feet, Woods hit the most devastating move in alllllllllllllll of sports entertainment, the surprise roll up to get the win.
A good solid match, I’m just hoping Pete is used better now he is on Smackdown. His NXT run was good, but seemed to lack any reward. With the clear ability he has in the ring, the man deserves a biggggggg Vince push but let’s be honest, we never build new stars on WWE anymore, so there’s no hope of that happening.
GOD MODE OFFICIAL!
Well well well, he actually did it. Roman Reigns is the unified champion and this just solidifies his amazing reign even further. So far, it’s been brilliant, I’m just hoping the end of his reign symbolises this. Roman stated despite beating Farmer Bork at Wrestlemania, he still had a lot to prove. Roman added the Usos needed to get two more titles by unifying the tag team titles as well, and this is an idea I am desperate for. The unification of the main world titles was good to solidify the run that Reigns is having, so what better to practically give the Bloodline all of the titles in WWE to make their stable that much better. It’ll lead to an amazing story where they can’t be beaten and they have all of the gold, to finally lose it in what will be a load of massive pay offs in one story. The tag titles should always be across both brands anyway, as having two diminishes their meaning and the tag division is lacking the amount of quality teams it takes to have tag champions on both brands.
Following my little side rant, let’s get back on track! Reigns instructed the Usos to go to Raw and capture the Raw tag team titles in the name of the Bloodline. Shinsuke Nakamura was the one to interrupt the Tribal Chief, but Roman didn’t allow him to speak. Roman said he knew why Nakamura was there and even gave him a hug to make up for Rick Boogs’ injury.
This didn’t last long however, as the Usos hit Nakamura with tandem superkicks as Smackdown went off air with the Bloodline standing tall.
This was another decent episode for the week following Wrestlemania, with other highlights including the return of Lacey Evans as well as Raquel Gonzalez and Gunther announcing they’re now on the blue brand. Both these need to be utilised properly, especially Gunther as they have something special with him, despite his poor run on NXT following his amazing NXT UK run. Find a full list of results below:
- Xavier Woods def. Butch
- GUNTHER def. Joe Alonzo
- Drew McIntyre def. Sami Zayn via countout
- Liv Morgan def. Sasha Banks
That brings us to the end of the week following the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania. There were many good moments, with a few nice returns and NXT talents moving to the main brands. Anyway, that’s all from me, thanks for reading and I'll catch you on the next review!