JP's WWE experience 17th-21st January

JP's WWE experience 17th-21st January

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! It’s JP here back to run you through what happened in WWE programming this week. We are on the road to… well, the Royal rumble, so maybe not the best time to say we’re on the road to! Without wasting any more time, let’s get stuck in! 

WWE Raw 17th January

Women’s tag match to open Raw… oh dear god!

Well, if there was an opening to a show that foreshadowed how the rest of the episode would go, it was certainly this! Big time Becks kicked us off saying legends like Lita and Mickie James were only returning to have a chance at facing her for the title… Yes Becky, that is usually how the Royal Rumble works! She added that the likes of Doudrop wouldn’t stand a chance against her, which is when we had an interruption, because it is the start of a WWE weekly show after all. 

Shortly following Doudrop, Liv Morgan and Bianca Belair made their way to the ring to announce they’d be in the rumble, and had the intention to go after Becky if they were successful. This led to those two facing the Raw women’s champion and the number one contender for her belt, so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going to happen in this match. Can they co-exist? Can they heck! 

Those who know me know exactly my thoughts on women’s tag team matches, and for those who don’t I'll keep it brief, I hate them!!!

Regardless, the match began with Doudrop and Bianca. Doudrop was in full control, but being the heel she is, Becky tagged herself in. This evoked an argument between the ‘partners’ and caused the distraction allowing Bianca to hit a dropkick  on them both, taking control for her team. Doudrop finally returned after Becky got dominated for a while, and reversed the KOD to send Belair to the outside. 

Back in the ring, Lynch hit a manhandle slam and was about to get the win, but Doudrop broke up the pin, dragged her partner to the corner where she tagged herself in, got a huge splash, and got the win. Shocker! Predictably, Doudrop immediately attacked Becky after the match and hit a Banzai drop in the corner to wipe out the champion. Enjoy the loss at Royal Rumble Doudrop! 

Austin’s theory! 

Theory being Theory, he was kissing Vince’s ass backstage. The owner of the company himself turned the tides though, stating if Austin couldn’t beat Balor he’d beat him himself and send a selfie afterwards to his mother. Great, how does Vince respond to intense competition from other companies that are putting his own in threat for the first time in twenty or so years and how does he respond? By threatening to send a selfie to one of his talent’s mothers… never change Vince. 

Naturally, this led into the match. Before this episode, there had been murmerings that Balor was being used to put over younger talent, and this was basically confirmed in this match. Theory had the advantage in the early going, before suffering a huge discuss clothesline from his opponent on the outside. 

Back on Raw after a break, Theory attempted to lift Balor for the finish, but he reversed this into a rollup for the near fall. Balor tried to take advantage and went for the Coup de Grace, but he was met with a huge dropkick followed by the ATL for the three count. Theory picks up a huge win, and prevents the selfie from Vince, which I can say I’m fairly glad about considering it likely wouldn’t be PG. 

Quick sidenote, I think it’s extremely disappointing and a massive disservice to Balor to use him of all people to put younger talent over, as he is a phenomenal talent who should be being pushed to the moon and the one being put over by other talent, but he’s putting others over. And they wonder why people lose interest in the company when their top stars are being used like puppets! Rant over, let’s move on before I explode in rage. 

Two number one contenders face… nobody can lose momentum going into Rumble, shit we fucked up! Ctrl Z quick!!!!!!!!!!

How can you be this stupid with your booking? SERIOUSLY WTF!!!! Two number one contenders for the two world titles going into one of the biggest PPV’s, and we should be building momentum, but what do we do? Whack them into a pointless match and halt BOTH their momentum by having nobody win. Unbelievable. I give up!

The match began and I was confused as to how this match had even got past the creative team without somebody piping up and saying "Hold up a minute lads. Back from T’ gravy mines and I see this match. Aren’t they both number one contenders that should be racking up wins to make them look strong init?" Granted, Adz isn’t part of the creative team but even he has more brains then these morons!

I’m not even going to bother going through the match as it was completely pointless, so I won’t waste your time like they wasted mine and we’ll fast forward to the ending. The former Hurt Business pairing of Shelly B and Cedric Diggery back to life after being killed by the dark lord, or the man who shall not be named (no, not CM Punk, Voldermort! My Harry Potter line will be appreciated by at least one of you, I’m sure!) attacked big bad booty Bobby causing the DQ. Wow, how creative and unique to finish a match! The Usos then double superkicked Rollins as Bobby got attacked, so somewhere Bodybag Maestro James is wanking himself into a coma as this was declared a no-contest. 

Jesus Christ, Raw was officially tragic this week! You know, I will give credit when it’s due, but when something is pure shit, I’m not going to sugarcoat it! Let’s move on fast before I write an 8,000 word essay about the state of this company that poor Paul or Joshhausen has to proofread! Find a full list of results below: 

  • Becky Lynch & Doudrop DEF Liv Morgan & Bianca Belair
  • Kevin Owens DEF Damien Priest
  • Austin Theory DEF Finn Balor
  • Omos DEF Reggie
  • The Street Profits & The Mysterios DEF The Dirty Dawgs, Apollo Crews & Commander Aziz
  • Seth Rollins v Bobby Lashley- DNF

WWE Main Event January 19th 

  • Tommasso Ciampa DEF Akira Tozawa
  • Pete Dunne DEF T-Bar

WWE NXT UK January 20th 

Noam Dar hit A-Kid!!!!!!

He of all people should know it is unacceptable to hit a minor! We are going to go through just the main event this week, as the rest of the show was fairly lacklustre up until this absolute barn burner of a main event. Noam dar was facing A-Kid for the UK heritage cup, under standard heritage cup rules. 

Round 1- The first round both men were feeling each other out, starting with a test of strength and some mat based wrestling. A-Kid attempted a submission and Dar got a two count in just before the round ended. 

Round 2- A-Kid had full control in this round, locking on a cravat before smoothly turning a chinlock into a pin combination for a near fall. A-Kid dodged a running knee strike after being set up on the top rope, which sent Dar crashing to the outside as the round ended, following A-Kid giving him the double bird salute.

Round 3- Dar started strong and went for a draping DDT, but after being stopped by the referee, he decided to opt for the kick straight to his opponent’s face. Dar hit more kicks before going for the Nova Roller, but he was caught flush with a kick courtesy of his challenger. Dar came back with a kick of his own before finally hitting the Nova Roller for the first pin of the match in 1:36 of the round. 

Round 4- A-Kid quickly rolled into a flying armbar, transitioning to the omoplata. Dar got a rollup and held the tights, but A-Kid still kicked out. Dar tried another pin with his feet on the ropes but the referee caught him. A-Kid rolled him up, but only got a two count. A-Kid hit a dive after Dar rolled to ringside, but missed and crashed. Samuels then rolled Dar back into the ring and A-Kid narrowly made it back in a nine. Dar scored another near fall. A-Kid went for a springboard move and Samuels tried attacking him as he was on the top rope. He hit a backflip into a DDT off the top and managed to score a fall at 2:35 of the round, tying this up at one fall a piece.

Round 5- Both men came out firing, opting to attempt numerous submissions to get the job done, but they were to no avail. A-Kid hit a running knee strike which seemed to take Dar out, but the round ended before he had the opportunity to capitalise on the opportunity. 

Round 6- the pace was higher than ever as both men tried everything in their arsenal to get the last minute winner. They traded stoff shots and both went for many pinfall attempts in the hope their opponent would mess up just once, which unfortunately for both men didn’t happen. A-Kid took out Samuels on the outside with a big dive after yet another interference, this wasted valuable time however. He locked in a kneebar on his return to the ring, but Dar reached the ropes.He followed with a flying superkick, but yet again Dar held on and kicked out. A-Kid locked on the omoplata with just ten seconds left, and despite being in agony, Dar held on for the 1-1 draw. 

What a match this was! It was tough to make notes for as it was hard not to get fixated on the action. The heritage cup rules make for thrilling matches, which after watching for this review I have come to appreciate how spectacular the concept is. I agree with Paul however, just make the damn cup into a title belt already it’s unique but not for me! Find a full list of results below: 

  • Pretty Deadly DEF Sam Gradwell & Saxon Huxley
  • Isla Dawn DEF Emilia McKenzie
  • Noam Dar v A-Kid- Draw. Noam Dar retains the UK heritage cup

WWE Smackdown 21st January 

Moxley’s name got dropped more than WWE has released talent in the past 2 years!!!!

The Usos kicked us off, briefly joined by Roman Reigns before being asked his highlights of his 500+ day reign. Before he could respond however, of course we had to have an interruption, this being in the form of Seth Rollins. He congratulated Reigns, but stated he had been handed everything and hadn’t earned anything. He name-dropped third shield member ‘Mox’ numerous times before calling out Reigns for sending the Usos to Raw to beat him down, saying they’re the only reason Roman has had such a long reign. 

Reigns proceeded to call Seth ‘little brother’ and that their match would be simply one-on-one at the rumble. Seth responded with a challenge, that of which is if he beats the Usos in a tag match with a partner of his choice, then they would be barred from ringside at the PPV. Jey Uso accepted before Roman spoke, and he was fuming about this to say the least. The Usos stated Rollins would struggle to find a partner before his new friend Kevin Owens came to his aid, setting up the main event.

Before leaving, Reigns had a stipulation of his own, saying if Rollins and KO lost tonight, the title match at Royal Rumble would be off. Rollins accepted as we moved on with the show. 

Stay in your lane Zayn! 

Our lord and saviour Sami Zayn was out and had another stunt planned after his failed attempt last week. This time he shocked himself with a cattle prod before Johnny Knoxville interrupted (there are so many interruptions in WWE!) and inspected the prod to discover it wasn’t turned on. 

Knoxville shocked him for real this time and sent him over the top rope as a ‘preview’ to what will happen at the Royal Rumble. 

I’m hoping Sami eliminates Johnny. No particular reason besides the fact I genuinely love Sami Zayn and I want to see him get revenge. 

Rollins and KO, better than RK-Bro, okay that was low, am I proud? No!

Sorry RK-Bro, I love you guys but the rhyme was too good to resist. Main event time now, the Usos facing Rolllins and KO. If the latter lose, Rollins will not face Roman at the PPV, but if they win the Usos will be banned from ringside for that match. 

Seth isolated Jey early on as we see Roman watching the TV at such an awkward position that I think he may need a chiropractor after the show. He proceeded to beat up Jimmy before a distraction allowed the Usos the opening to take control. Owens came in and hit a huge senton, but Jimmy got his knees up for the splash that followed. He took some superkicks before we headed for a break. 

After the short intermission, Owens was isolated in the ring before a hot tag was made to Seth who ran wild and took down both members of the opposing team. He blocked a superkick and hit a buckle bomb, but he took a samoan drop after this. Jimmy knocked Owens off the apron, and they need to be careful because I’ve been informed by a specialist that that’s the hardest part of the ring!!!!!! He came back however, and got the tag before hitting a powerbomb for a near fall. 

Owens hit the stunner on Jey, but ate a superkick before Seth isolated Jimmy and hit the stomp before Roman interfered and hit Rollins with a superman punch before he could get the pin, causing the DQ meaning the Usos will be banned from ringside in their Universal championship match at the Royal Rumble. 

Not a bad show overall, much better than Raw that’s for sure! One thing not mentioned is SOnya was guest referee for the Naomi v Charlotte match, where if Naomi won, she would get a title shot. Deville obviously screwed Naomi further developing the feud. The major issue with Smackdown is the major focus is on the Universal title programme, whatever that may be at the time. There is very little other work to build feuds and there’s a lot of filler and lazy booking in the rest of the show. They need to sort that out if they want the show’s to get more credit. Find a full list of results below: 

  • Kofi Kingston DEF Madcap Moss
  • Aliyah DEF natalya via DQ 
  • The Viking Raiders DEF Los Lotharios 
  • Charlotte Flair DEF Naomi
  • Sheamus DEF Ricochet 
  • Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens DEF The Usos via DQ, meaning the Usos will be banned from ringside in the Seth Rollins v Roman Reigns match for the universal championship at the Royal Rumble

205 Live! January 21st

  • Lash Legend DEF Fallon Henley 
  • Draco Anthony DEF Javier Bernal 
  • James Drake DEF Bodhi Hayward

That brings us to the end of this week in WWE programming. Overall, a fairly disappointing week, with a lack of decent action or build, with the exception of the Rollins v Reigns feud. I’ll catch you next week for the go home week for the Royal Rumble PPV. That’s all from me, thanks for reading and I'll catch you on next week’s WWE Experience!