JP’s WWE Experience 10th-14th January
JP is back with a round up of last weeks WWE action!
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! It’s JP here back with the first WWE review of the year. With ‘Belt Guy’ Paul taking a short break from his NXT UK reviews, I will be covering NXT UK in this review for a little while. So, let’s crack on with this week in WWE!
Raw 10th January
Fantasy booking does have some benefits!
We kicked off Raw with new WWE champion Brock Lesnar alongside his advocate Paul Heyman. Bobby Lashley was quick to join them with MVP who beforehand told Cedric and Shelton the Hurt Business stable was over. Well, so much for bringing that back, ay!
In the ring, Lashley stated that Lesnar had been ducking the fight between the two behemoths for over 20 years. Brock fired back stating if they’d have faced sooner, Lesnar would have already beaten big bad booty Bobby, except he didn’t use my fantastic nickname. They traded insults back and forth, but Lesnar got the last laugh, calling Bobhead a ‘Brock Lesnar wannabe’ before walking out.
Cedric and Shelton tried to blindside Lashley, but they basically got demolished. Can’t wait for that inevitable 2 on 1 handicap with Lashley squashing again! Anyone else getting Deja Vu?
Despite us knowing this day would inevitably come, this still made me want to curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep after the show. RK-Bro were facing Alpha Academy for the Raw tag team titles, and you already know where this is leading from the title and brief introduction/sob story.
Riddle and Gable kicked us of… oh wait! Before I continue I welcome you back to:
This week’s thought: Do pets name their owners? I must say, I may have thought about this one a bit too much, so much so, even though you can’t tell, a 5 minute break and reconsideration of my life choices took place after typing the thought before continuing. Anyway, where was I?
Ah yes! Fiddle me Riddle and Gable (that damn Gable) kicked us off. If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know me and Chad the rad lad don’t exactly get along! That damn ******* ******* looking **** with a tiny ****! Interpret that as you will…
Chad grounded Riddle early on and hit some big kicks before sending one half of the tag champions to the outside and hitting a big dive. Riddle eventually made the hot tag after a spell of him being dominated, and Orton entered, who immediately tried to hit a double draping DDT. Beta Academy, better name if you ask me considering Gable, blocked this move, but this only led to Gable being hit with a big suplex from the top rope courtesy of the viper. Orton tried for the RKO, however, Gable blocked, and sent him into Otis for a massive powerbomb for not the 1 count… not the two… but yes, unfortunately the three. Alpha, or Beta, Academy are your NEW tag team champions. Bring back the meme people!!!
Well, I must say, it was a good run for RK-bro, lasting longer than I originally anticipated, however, this is now seeming to be the beginning of the end for the unlikely duo. Now, please have Riddle turn heel for the match at Wrestlemania, and please god, let Riddle emerge victorious.
Nikki almost… killed Rhea?????
Three words, What… the… F***! I for one didn’t see this coming on tonight’s episode but we got it! Ripley and Nikki made their way to the ring, before Ripley said they thought it was best if they parted ways. They argued back and forth about who was the better wrestler, before Ripley was about to leave, notice the word about! Rhea came back, looking sad, poor Rhea, and gave Nikki a hug. I sensed Ripley would potentially turn heel at this point, but no! We got the most exciting prospect of the two, as Nikki unloaded on Ripley.
Many people, including myself, expected the team to have a bit more legs, and go onto challenge for the women’s tag titles again, but this was, thankfully, not the way WWE decided to go. It’s a win win for me, we get rid of the superhero gimmick and turn Nikki back to the heel she has always suited more, and there’s one less women’s tag team!
Let’s hope they don’t Dou-drop the ball in the main event!
Genius wordplay from yours truly, as always! The number one contender triple threat for Becky’s Raw women’s championship was closing out this week’s show. It was to be Doudrop taking on Liv Morgan as well as Bianca Belair, who has felt like an afterthought as of late. Becky was out to watch the match unfold.
All three women ran at each other as soon as the bell rang, and Doudrop was sent out of the ring immediately, and she dragged Belair with her. Liv hit a huge dive on both to gain momentum. Belair blocked a powerbomb from Doudrop next, before the former Piper hit a huge double splash on both her downed opponents.
Doudrop had control for a while next, which was only shifted when Morgan went for a cannonball in the corner which missed. She bounced back quick though, hitting a hurricanrana on Belair who was on the top rope before she tried to lock in the rings of Saturn, but Bianca powered out and hit a powerbomb. Belair slammed Liv onto Doudrop, before she looked to finish the match. Lynch interfered however, and sent Bianca over the announcer’s table. This allowed Doudrop back in the ring to take advantage and hit a huge splash to win the match and become number one contender for the Raw women’s title at Royal Rumble.
That was it for Raw this week, and what an episode it was! New number one contender, heel turn and even a title change, despite the title change being much to my dismay. Find a full list of results from the show below:
- Alpha Academy DEF RK-Bro to become new Raw tag team champions
- The Dirty Dawgs & Apollo Crews DEF Damien Priest and The Street Profits
- Seth Rollins DEF Big E
- Omos DEF Promotional Talent
- Austin Theory V AJ Styles- DNF
- Doudrop DEF Liv Morgan and Bianca Belair to become number one contender for Becky Lynch’s Raw women’s championship at Royal Rumble
Main Event 13th January
- Tommaso Ciampa DEF T-Bar
- Pete Dunne DEF Akira Tozawa
NXT UK 13th January
Die Familie were feeling Stiff and seeing Starz!
As previously mentioned, the ‘Belt Guy’ Paul will be taking a short break from his NXT UK reviews, so I will be including a brief version in these reviews for a little while until he’s ready to return. Hope I do you justice Paul!
Before the match began, Die Familie had a new, opera-themed entrance music. Interesting, I guess? Not my vibe personally!
This match was the first round of the NXT UK #1 contender’s tournament, between Dave Mastiff with Jack Starz taking on Die Familie. Starz and Raja kicked us off in this tag match, and Starz had the majority of the early going before he tagged in Mastiff who downed both opponents with some stiff shots. They continued to cause havoc, as Mastiff hit a senton followed by a gorgeous looking rope-assisted splash from his partner Starz.
Dempsey caused the distraction which gave the heels the chance they needed to use their heel tactics. Right from the heel playbook! I said heel a lot there huh? They double-teamed Starz for a lengthy period of time before he managed to get to his corner and make the hot tag to Mastiff who ran wild. This would’ve likely been the finish too, but Teoman once again distracted the referee, who missed the pin as a result.
Dempsey pulled Starz off the apron following this, but he was confronted by Joe Coffey who hopped the barricade, shortly followed by the rest of Gallus. This gave Mastiff the opening he needed in the ring to hit a German suplex on Raja and get the victory.
Walter’s last stand!
The entirety of this week’s episode was named Walter’s last stand, as this was his big send off from the UK to the USA, meaning he will now likely be seen on Art Attack 2.0 most weeks. Big gain for the USA, big loss for the UK. They could never come close to our renditions of Sweet Caroline though, so who knows what he‘s thinking! Oh, it’s Vince, yeah he’s going to be loaded, makes sense! Still going to miss that Sweet Caroline though, I’m telling you!
He was facing Nathan Frazer in this week’s main event, and likely his last. They were feeling each other out (resist JP, don’t let Paul down!) before Walter used some technical work to ground Frazer. The match began very slow paced and methodical, with both wrestlers trying to out wrestle each other. That was of course until Walter gave up and rained blows on his opponent on the apron. That poor man’s chest! Nathan tried to fight back and come back into the match, even managing to stagger the big man, but this was to no avail as Walter made him eat a big boot.
Walter being Walter, started spamming the chop button, making me wince at every strike, as always. Frazer eventually turned the odds in his favour when Walter went for a powerbomb, which he cleverly reversed into a hurricanrana followed by a cradle, which only resulted in a two count! This was Frazer’s short run of control, in which he got numerous falls following a destroyer and a beautifully executed running shooting star press. He went for a big dive to the outside, but unfortunately for him, he got caught. Luckily, he wiggled out and hit a huge superkick, which kept the ‘ring general’ outside for an 8 count.
As Frazer went for a springboard move back inside, Walter hit a huge chop out of mid-air, which seemed to echo so much I heard it walking home. This signalled the beginning of the end, as following a failed moonsault attempt from Nathan, Walter hit a devastating powerbomb on Frazer to get the victory in his last match on NXT UK.
And that’s how the show ended, with the ring general standing tall. It is certainly the end of an era for NXT UK! Scheduled for next week’s show is Noam Dar v A-Kid for the NXT UK Heritage Cup and Pretty Deadly taking on Sam Gradwell (who lives 2 minutes away from me in Blackpool and goes to the same gym as me by the way!) and a partner of his choosing. Also, pencilled in for two weeks' time is Ilja Dragunov defending his NXT UK title against Jordan Devlin.
I hope I did Paul justice with this review, and I’m looking forward to seeing the disappointed father look on his face when he sees how much I've butchered this. After all, nobody can live up to his standards. Let’s move back to my bread and butter. Why don’t we? Find a full list of results below:
- Dave Mastiff and Jack Starz DEF Die familie to move on to round 2 of the NXT UK #1 contender’s tournament
- Amale DEF Stevie Turner
- Walter DEF Nathan Frazer in his last match on NXT UK
Smackdown 14th January
What a Jackass!
The absolute legend and idol himself Sami Zayn was out after running the footage of Johnny Knoxville attacking him last week. Sami kicked off the first-ever preview of In-Zayn which saw two guys push him in a shopping cart towards a big ramp. God, I think I love this homeless-looking guy!
Zayn being Zayn hesitated and had them stop at the last second before bailing out of the cart and heading back to the ring looking traumatised. Sami was throwing a fit, because why wouldn’t he, before Nakamura ruined this masterpiece of a segment by attacking Sami. What a dick! #StopTheConspiracy. #JusticeForSami!
What did I do as soon as an image of Charlotte Flair downloads? I De-Lita!
Personally, I thought that was genius! Lita was back next, pretty much out of nowhere, with no advertisement I do believe! If there was one, I missed it, so what a lovely surprise, I mean, who doesn’t love Lita! She said she’d done everything, except win the Royal Rumble, as there wasn’t a women’s one in her wrestling days. WWE programming being WWE programming, someone had to interrupt. It was… Charlotte. Yay… great! Charlotte mocked her, and stated she’d eliminate her herself and ruin her big comeback. She then bragged about beating another Hall of Famer, that being Trish Stratus. Flair said she’d do the same to her, before Lita had had enough, slapped the champion, hit the twist of fate, then walked off.
This seems like it’s building to Lita eliminating Flair in the Rumble, potentially setting up a feud between the two for Wrestlemania, and who wouldn’t love to see that!
Sierra, Hotel, India, Echo, Lima, Delta, SHIELD!!! (Without Mox/Ambrose of course!)
For the main event segment, Seth Rollins was out, briefly followed by Roman Reigns, who has now held the title for over 500 days! That’s some going for WWE who love treating world titles as a hot potato!
Roman did his whole ‘crowd acknowledge me’ shtick before Rollins asked for a fist bump, for old times sake. Reigns said it was beneath him now, before Seth brought up their previous title encounters. Roman bounced back, saying he was in God mode these days, Super Saiyan if you will, and called himself the greatest of his generation. Rollins questioned if that would all be possible without him though, and said if he ‘created him’ he could be the one to ‘destroy him’.
Reigns instantly fired back calling him a clown followed with a great line, saying Becky was a megastar, but he wasn’t. The Usos tried to attack Rollins, but smartly, he legged it and avoided the attack, meaning Smackdown went off air with a staredown between the two, be it from a distance.
A very mixed episode for Smackdown. Notice my three highlights were all segments, with basically no wrestling. The matches underperformed, and none excited me. A quick sidenote, Kofi stated in this episode that XXXavier Woods had sustained a calf injury at the hands of the Usos, and he would be unable to compete for a period of time. Therefore, Kofi will take his place in the Royal Rumble. I wish him a speedy recovery and hope he returns to our screens soon, because I love the guy. This meme may not be used for a while as a result, so let’s cheaply whack it in here, quickly followed by the full list of results.
- The Viking Raiders DEF Los Lotharios, Jinder Mahal & Shanky, Cesaro & Mansoor to become Number one contenders for the Usos Smackdown tag team titles
- Aliyah DEF Natalya
- Sheamus DEF Ricochet
- Madcap Moss DEF Sir Kofi Kingston
205 Live! January 14th
- Bodhi Hayward DEF Guru Raaj
- Ivy Nile DEF Valentina Feroz
That brings us to the end of this week in WWE programming, including NXT UK! Raw was an incredible show, and Smackdown, despite disappointing in the wrestling side of things, was also fairly decent. The Royal Rumble seems to be shaping up to be fantastic, with two incredible world title matches and of course, the two Rumble matches themselves. That’s all from me, thanks for reading and I’ll catch you next week!